Photos: Ten weirdest posts on Reddit's Denver Circlejerk, 2014 edition

We gravitate toward the latter in the following roundup, which gathers some of the strangest recent items -- including tributes to DIA's blue Mustang, Casa Bonita and more. Count down our top picks below.

Edit omg you guys are so awesome. I've decided to be a Franciscan monk and join the navy. Thanks for all the advice and the flowers

second edit. OMG thank you so much for the life size portrait of that chick from saved by the bell!

third edit the navy apparently has an issue with the horse as well. FML

4th edit it has been confirmed that these previous edits were completed at the same time rendering their sequence and validity suspect.

I hate the people, I hate the customers, and I hate the company. How soon can I expect to be promoted?

After I came home my keys were gone. Mostly used to get into my house and start my car -- silver, has a black end with some snaggle teeth on it (really pretty ugly). The last time I saw them I had come back from getting some munchies as I was really high, I'd say it was around like 4:25. I'm almost positive that I put them on the table but now I just can't remember. I checked in the door already, duh, I'm not a stupid stoner.

Please get back to me if anyone finds them in their couch.

Here is an example of what they DO NOT look like... Edit: They were in my door. I could have swore that I checked there.

I totally want to surprise my pet rock with an animal it has never seen before in an environment the animal is unfamiliar with. I will pick it up, let it shit all over my apartment and then blame you, but most of all you can trust me because this is the Internet.

Oh it must be good with Komodo dragons, feral dogs, my asshole ex-wife's step children, and be 420 friendly.

I won't give you shit and won't tell you where I live either so you won't get your animal back.

EVIL CORPORATIONS THAT WILL LITERALLY SKULLFUCK US WITH TOLLS ALL THE WAY FROM DENVER TO BOULDER AND BACK!!! WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK ARE WE GONNA DO NOW??????????????????????????????????? PLZ HALP PLZ

I'm tired of seeing all these trucks and SUVs drive slowly on the highways. Just put the pedal to the metal, you have 4WD, you'll be fine. Stop going 30 MPH on the highway, I left my house 10 minutes late and its your fault.

It's one of those U-Lock kind. I called a locksmith, but I couldn't prove it was my bike, so he left. Can someone bring me a hacksaw or bolt cutters? I'm in Lakewood.

Please help! There are only 750 left, soon to be 749 :( This pic is us playing in the yard the day we first met.

Preferably someplace with children. I have cleaned up my act but I want to be around kids so I can test myself every day. Preferably close to a church too so I can take place in youth groups and take kids on camping trips. Also a list of schools in the area would help greatly.

Send your story tips to the author, Michael Roberts.

More from our Lists & Weirdness archive circa February 2013: "Photos: Ten funniest posts on Redditt's Denver Circlejerk."