But that just meant there were that many more weird, hilarious, embarrassing, astonishing texts from which to choose.
Look below to count down our ten favorites, photo-illustrated for your pleasure.
Number 10: Going out with a bang
Number 9: If only they served them at the concession stand
Number 7: Exit ramp
Number 5: The great ones play hurt
Number 3: Golf bag or douchebag?
Number 1: A hairy situation
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More from our Lists & Weirdness archive: "Photos: Top ten Texts From Last Night out of the 303 area code, 2013 edition."