1. Denver once manufactured its own weapons of mass destruction: plutonium triggers made at Rocky Flats. How long does it take for plutonium to lose just half of its radioactivity?
A. A while.
B. 24,000 years.
C. 500 years, give or take.
D. 100,000 years.
2. Speaking of toxic, the Colorado Rockies' recent thirteen-inning loss lasted more than four hours. What was the longest game in the semi-glorious history of the Rox?
A. Five hours, five minutes of mañana beisbol.
B. A four-hour, fifty-one minute affair that unofficially produced a team high of 34 naps.
C. A marathon that umpires called due to curfew after it had run a grueling eight hours.
D. A doubleheader that was postponed after the Coors Field beer-cooling system broke.
3. It's not easy being on the front lines fighting terrorism. An Aspen mail carrier was recently ordered to:
A. Leave his faithful golden retriever at home instead of taking him on postal rounds.
B. Cover his tattoos that read "Snail Mail Fails."
C. Stop wearing a head covering that authorities charged looked like an Iraqi burnoose.
D. Refrain from blaring anti-war tunes from his portable CD player.
4. Wheat Ridge native Todd Dunivant made an impact last weekend by:
A. Filming a Comedy Central show near Brush titled Survivor: Iraq.
B. Pledging to buy and drink a gallon of John Hickenlooper's Railyard Ale each day until the mayoral election.
C. Scoring the winning goal against the home-team Rapids in his debut with the San Jose Quick.
D. Donating two Avs tickets to the family of Khareem Istur, a Kurdish medic wounded in Iraq.
5. As residents await news of water restrictions, information trickles out about the guy with his hand on the spigot. What is not true about Chips Barry, manager of Denver Water?
A. His real name is Hamlet.
B. His great-aunt is credited with bringing trees and shrubs to Denver.
C. He heads an agency that is second only to the federal government in terms of the land space it controls.
D. He secretly prefers Evian bottled water.
6. In an effort to steer the debate over insurance reform, some house Democrats:
A. Held a go-cart derby during which competitors randomly "bumped" others.
B. Took a chimp wearing a tiny suit to the Statehouse and had the primate hand out "Don't monkey with it" leaflets.
C. Parked a dented Geo Metro near the Capitol to lampoon Governor Owens's call for a "Chevy" health-care plan.
D. Dressed up as a NASCAR pit crew in order to "rev up reform."
1. B. Plutonium doesn't last forever -- but experts estimate it'll be a good 24,000 years before it loses half of its radioactivity. Plan accordingly.
2. B. The Rockies' benchmark for length unfolded in a nearly five-hour, thirteen-inning contest on April 27, 1996.
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3. A. The mailman was told to ditch the pooch, Sydney, a two-year veteran of the route.
4. C. Todd became the first Quick to score that quickly as a pro. In so doing, he dumped the Rapids 2 to 1.
5. D. Mr. Barry, a proud Denver native, relishes the taste of Denver H20. Remember, it's the water.
6. C. They brought the beater to show the quality of the system Coloradans have now.