1. Looking for signs of economic recovery, the Quiz United Board of Blowhards and Lazy Eyeballers (QUIBBLE) has spotted some good news. Last week our one-man recovery engine, Shoppin' Stan Kroenke, bought:
A. A Greeley ranchwear factory to give him a more rugged Western look.
B. Papaya Online, a direct importer of digestive pills (in anticipation of the Nuggets season).
C. An opera shop.
D. Another private Learjet, so that he has one for each day of the week.
2. The Promise Keepers, returning "home" for a rally, offered online discounts for all but which of these official PK products?
A. A PK golf-ball marker and repair tool.
B. Passage khaki shirts.
C. A PK tank top, size XXL (presumably, Godly men-sized only).
D. A Challenge-themed T-shirt.
3. Lone Tree-based Nick-N-Willy's plans to expand to Canada to mark its fifteenth anniversary. Where did N-N-W's name come from?
A. The late Brad Schneider, who founded the firm, named it after his sons, Nicholas and William.
B. Nick and Willy were two names picked at random from the Boulder phone book by a very elevated owner.
C. Nicholas Robertson and Willy Deguillio, two of the victims of cannibal Alfred Packer, were memorialized by pizza mogul Ty Crooner.
D. Nick and Willy are two famous out-of-bounds runs at Telluride.
4. Speaking of expansion, Denver is considering a $10 million tax break for Wal-Mart. If that money were instead spent on giant, eight-foot inflatable snowmen at walmart.com, how many could the city buy?
A. None. There's no such product.
B. A million, give or take.
5. They're dancing in Boulder because IBM software announced it is:
A. Going to start selling Bachelor software, based on the popular TV show, thereby creating 200 new designer jobs.
B. Planning to trim "less than 1 percent" of jobs at the office there.
C. Seeking "volunteers" for unpaid overtime.
D. Providing free buses to all CU home games for those who work one Sunday a month.
6. Cultural bonus: Colorado Mills, headed for its first anniversary next month, has fallen a little short of financial expectations. But the year was not without its highlights, including which of the following?
A. An autograph session with some of the remaining Wizard of Oz midgets.
B. Bored guys flinging giant, inflated Frisbee-shaped balloons.
C. Many free samples of Japanese teriyaki chicken.
D. All of the above.
1. C. Denver-based Opera Shop, a set design and construction company, joins a new Kroenke Sports division called KSE Production Services.
2. C. Everything but the XXL was discounted. PK knows its market, by god.
3. A. They were the sons of the late founder.
4. D. At $37.82 each, it would translate into 264,410 snowmen. And wouldn't those be a happier sight than one giant Wally at Alameda Square?
5. B. IBM will trim its force only a wee bit as part of a national chopping.
6. D. That's right: All that -- and so much more -- has graced this Lakewood institution.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Westword's biggest stories.