"Turf Wars," Patricia Calhoun, August 8
Now, let me get this right. The State of Northern Colorado? Damn!Why didn't I think of it? Sure as hell — that's ranch talk — there they were, the county commissioners and a few sheriffs from the northeastern counties of Colorado, an impressive gathering of a portion of the intellectual leadership of Colorado, proposing the establishment of the State of Northern Colorado, surely the future economic hub of the high plains. And, no doubt, they've calculated the fiscal and financial impacts of their proposed action on themselves and their constituents. Think — rare though that is for the proponents — for a moment. They're a-goin' to establish a new state government, with all the services supported by their citizens, and one of 'em will be the governor. Surely they jest.
Why, the State of Northern Colorado will have its own high-speed rapid transit system: wagons. A Department of Public Safety with a state crime lab: mail-order chemistry set. A full-fledged educational system beginning with McGuffey's Second Eclectic Reader, Revised Edition — with pictures, no less — and four-year universities that will charge the rest of us out-of-state tuition. A Department of Transportation to keep the toll-road trails maintained and clear of snow with horse-drawn plows. Never mind social services. The possibilities are endless. A full-fledged court and judicial system, and they might even have a semi-Supreme Court! Why, Julesburg might even be designated state capital following in the tradition of centrally located Cheyenne.
But wait a minute. Now that I think of it... "Goodbye, it's been great to know ye!" Think of the services and costs we can shed as the remaining residents of the Great State of Colorado standing on the front steps of OUR State Capitol wave goodbye as the great northeastern state sails away on the hot air of its proposal.
And if, just if, it works out, how about this state flag for that new economic powerhouse: Take the "C" outta our flag and put a pair of bib overalls on theirs, or an oil well — or, better, a black-powder 44/40 crossed with a 45/70 buffalo gun. Where do I sign the petition?
John P. Hall
North Colorado is a joke. Its name should be Metharado.
Posted at westword.com
Call it just what it is — NoCO: no knowledge, no services, no population.
Posted at westword.com
"Brand on the Run!" Patricia Calhoun, August 8
Thanks for this apt and funny article. I have enjoyed Patricia Calhoun's commentaries in print and on public television for years. Keep up the good work. Never miss a week of Westword.
You have got to give credit to the public-relations folks who talk people into fixing what isn't broken.
Both the State of Colorado and the University of Denver are mired in creating new images for some reason that no one understands. Possibly the best solution is to hire the design folks at Nike. They seem to have the most experience in creating logos and brand images. We would just have to put the Nike swoosh on everything in Colorado.
I just picked up the new issue of Westword and am smiling. Patricia Calhoun's piece on the rebranding of Colorado deserves a gold star. It would be a better representation than any of the logos so far. Thank you for saying that much and more on a waste of time and money.
I also was glad to see the Off Limits piece on Amelia Earhart and her non-linear relation to the same famous person. I think this is the only time I've read in print that she really doesn't share the same genes. I'm sure Channel 9 will forget to mention that again when the flight begins in 2014.
"No-Fly Zone," Off Limits, August 8
As Amelia Earhart prepares for her journey, perhaps she can obtain a larger airplane to accommodate her bimbo/porn-star size-two colleagues in their knit dresses and perky breasts (turn sideways, ladies) on the flight. With any luck, she will also run out of fuel over New Guinea, and Denver will be free of them all.
Note: The real Amelia Earhart was a lousy pilot; her aura was just a publicity stunt created by her greedy agent/husband in 1937. She was eaten by cannibals.
I've been amazed how long it's taken to finally uncover what most "Amelia-philes" have always known: that Amelia Rose Earhart is not any relation to the real Amelia Earhart. I'm probably a descendant of Betsy Ross's 25th, eight-times great-grand-cousin thirty times removed, but even saying "it went back for generations" doesn't make it okay. I'm sure 9News has enjoyed the additional interest/ratings, but flying around the world, particularly with a former Cessna test pilot, isn't exactly death-defying, and it certainly isn't that newsworthy by someone who is only "similar" in name.
Using a Pilatus PC-12 NG Turbo is like using the H-bomb to eliminate an ant hill: Not only can a student pilot fly a Pilatus with another current, licensed pilot, but they wouldn't need fourteen stops to get to Howland Island. Geez, even the real Amelia and her alcoholic navigator Fred Noonan could have managed to get around the world in a $4,000,000 aircraft!
Editor's note: Read more about the Amelia Earhart crash-landing in this week's Off Limits.
"About Face," Simon-Moya Smith, August 8
One should take pride in one's heritage or heritages, I want to scream out, being the Hispanic/Native American I am. Look at the way Hispanics are contributing and helping to build this nation up regardless of the way we are portrayed.
We were here first and will be here to the end! We helped the world to love and respect culture and its differences. I love mariachis as much as I love the powwow. Traditions are what they are here in the land of the free and brave. I enjoy celebrating St. Patrick's Day with the Irish; I put on my green and step out and revel with their culture, not to hear them complain about my wearing shamrocks and a green 'do. I'm Irish for a day and still retain who I am culturally and have a heck of a lot of fun with my Irish friends.
Yes, there are boundaries that deserve respect, and this I understand, but face painting is not just a Native American tradition; it spans a multitude of races and cultures. Get a grip! I say revel in culture — be not afraid to share it with others. This is what brings about understanding and respect. Being a face painter, too, maybe I crossed some boundaries as well, but I made a lot of children happy along the way, and what is wrong with that? Especially if they want to be like Native Americans: brave and proud. I say let 'em!
Viva la wild wild West — this is the 21st century!
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This heavily biased article by Simon Moya-Smith is written to encourage opposition to the Sweetwaters. Readers have to look to the comments to get a more balanced viewpoint on the subject of Native American cultural sharing.
For Moya-Smith, Theodore Van Alst and others who are apparently not aware, this kind of cultural sharing being offered by the Sweetwaters is called tourism. These types of practices by Native Americans are offered every day throughout the United States and Canada. The Sweetwaters appear to be informing and entertaining their guests at the same time. They make no attempt to associate spirituality or traditional ceremony with a few colored lines painted on tourists' faces.
The Sweetwaters are a hardworking family trying their best to make a living using the skills and knowledge they know best. They are not violating anyone's rights, cultural or otherwise, by demonstrating songs and dances that can be observed anywhere in this country at a public powwow. The tourists likely go away feeling good about their experience with the Sweetwaters. They have learned a little more about Native Americans from authentic Indians, including the sweet hospitality of the family.
The Sweetwaters are cultural assets of our Native American community, and we should appreciate them as such.
Posted at westword.com