RTD fare increases are better for everyone: Kenny Be's Worst-Case Scenario
Look on the bright side of fare increases and service changes...
Denverites pay a lot of money to vacation abroad. With the new service reductions going into effect, overcrowded RTD buses will make the trip from Park Hill into downtown seem like an exotic adventure in Budapest or Mumbai. Below, see how crowded buses are perfect for people who need both hands to use their new smart phones and computer tablets.
Hands-free computing is available to commuters sandwiched between strap hangers.
As shown in the illustration above, there is less chance of losing your balance and falling down when passengers are packed on board like sardines. Plus, overcrowded buses create greater people-watching opportunities! Sassy mass-transportation-haters get slapped back below.
Math times distance equals moral superiority.
Packed buses are slower buses, which gives the passenger pictured above more time to do the math that proves RTD-haters are negatively biased when it comes to comparing (and complaining) about rising mass-transportation costs.
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.
- Senate Committee Approves Medical Marijuana for Veterans
- Reader: Denver Is Full of Smokers and Beta Males Who Refuse to Grow Up
- Denver Health To Limit Patients Passively Enrolled In Its Medicaid Plan