As we know, plenty of people go to jail because of drugs. Sometimes rightly, sometimes wrongly, but frequently.
But only a chosen few face time behind bars because they try to bring narcotics into jail. Like, for instance, Schmuck of the Week nominees Sarah Wolfe and Ronald Boyken, who are accused of conspiring with Guy Acosta in just such a scheme.
Acosta won't have far to go if he's convicted, since he's already an inmate.
According to Fox21 TV, deputies at the Pueblo County Detention Center learned that a woman -- Wolfe -- was involved in a conspiracy.
The goal of that nefarious plot? To hide narcotics (the Pueblo Chieftain identifies the substance as heroin) in the detention lobby bathroom.
Wolfe was allegedly acting at the request of Acosta. And her accused co-conspirator? Ronald Boyken, 47, who was charged with the actual drug transfer.
Deputies reportedly searched the bathroom beforehand, so they could be sure no drugs were already there -- raising the question of how often this happens. Do bags of this stuff randomly pile up in the corners of stalls?
At any rate, Wolfe and Boyken arrived at the center on Wednesday, after which Boyken went to the jail window and asked to use the men's room key. He then went inside, while Wolfe lingered in a nearby hallway.
After Boyken finished doing his business, whatever it was, the deputies returned to the lavatory and found drugs hidden inside. Upon making this discovery, they radioed colleagues who'd followed Wolfe and Boyken to their car.
Boyken was busted immediately, while Wolfe was allowed a little more freedom before being taken into custody yesterday, both of them are cooling their heels thanks to a $50,000 bond that was also slapped on Acosta. The twosome plus Acosta are suspected of contraband introduction and possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute, the Chieftain notes.
Afterward, Pueblo County Sheriff Kirk M. Taylor issued the following statement: "We are constantly gathering Intel that keeps contraband from the facility, shuts down assaults before they happen, and much more. We have custody of over 600 people today, all charged with a crime. Every day, we work to keep them safe, even from themselves. It is a mistake for inmates to think they can get away with this behavior, but an even bigger mistake for their friends outside the jail to help them."
Or, to put it another way: Nice try, schmucks.
Here are mug shots of this week's trio of honorees.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
More from our Schmuck of the Week archive: "Carmen Wysong, schmucky Girl Scouts troop leader, stole thousands in cookie money."