Shmuck of the Week: The Blockbuster Stabber

Sure it would suck to work here. But it wouldn't stab-yourself suck.
Sure it would suck to work here. But it wouldn't stab-yourself suck.

We've all been there: Stuck in a job we hate, dreading showing up for even another day. There are ways to grin and bear it, but sometimes that isn't enough. Sometimes you know just showing up will break you, and you've gotta stay away for a day.

There are plenty of decent ways to pull that off. Stabbing yourself is not one of them.

But, wouldn't you know it, that's what Aaron Siebers opted to do this week when faced with yet another day spent restocking Mad Men at Blockbuster.

Police first received a call that Siebers had been stabbed by some skinheads in Edgewater. But after further questioning, Siebers admitted that he'd stabbed himself to get out of work at Blockbuster, despite the fact that ten percent of America would stab themselves just to get a job.

The incident raises serious questions, mainly this one: Blockbuster is still in business? Also: Why didn't Siebers claim swine flu, or a broken-down car, or a psychological inability to watch one more customer rent Blue Chips while Casablanca sits idly on the shelf? Whatever the reason, it's not good enough. So Siebers is our Shmuck of the Week.

Meet more shmucks in our Shmuck archive.

Sponsor Content


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >