The Denver Nuggets' quarter-life crisis
If NBA games were decided after the first quarter of play, the Denver Nuggets would have been league champs several years in a row. Over and over again, the team gets off to a blistering start and builds up an early lead, only to slowly piss it away during the second and third quarters and wind up losing in the end -- which is precisely what hapened in last night's humiliating 111-101 defeat to Golden State.
Does George Karl think this is a winning strategy? Hard to say -- but perhaps we can change his mind with the following examples, which apply the Nuggets' one-quarter-is-good-enough approach to several of modern life's other basics.
Pros: Don't have that bloated feeling after meals if you only eat a quarter of what's on your plate.
Cons: You're hungry an hour after dinner even if you didn't have Chinese food.
Pros: Can get much more accomplished in any given day if you only sleep one-fourth as long as usual.
Cons: Grogginess can be a problem -- especially if your job is running a wood chipper.
Driving to work:
Pros: Going only a quarter of the usual distance to the office will cut way down on commute time.
Cons: Stopping in the middle of the road might be considered a traffic hazard.
Pros: Reducing your payments by 75 percent will leave you with a lot more cash at the end of each month.
Cons: If you do this for too long, collection-agency goons may break 75 percent of your kneecap.
Pros: Can't think of one offhand.
Cons: First base is a lot less interesting than home plate. -- Michael Roberts
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