The Denver Nuggets' quarter-life crisis

Carmelo Anthony doesn't seem to be in a Golden State of mind in this image from the Denver Nuggets' website.
Carmelo Anthony doesn't seem to be in a Golden State of mind in this image from the Denver Nuggets' website.

Carmelo Anthony doesn't seem to be in a Golden State of mind in this image from the Denver Nuggets' website.
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If NBA games were decided after the first quarter of play, the Denver Nuggets would have been league champs several years in a row. Over and over again, the team gets off to a blistering start and builds up an early lead, only to slowly piss it away during the second and third quarters and wind up losing in the end -- which is precisely what hapened in last night's humiliating 111-101 defeat to Golden State.

Does George Karl think this is a winning strategy? Hard to say -- but perhaps we can change his mind with the following examples, which apply the Nuggets' one-quarter-is-good-enough approach to several of modern life's other basics.

Eating:

Pros: Don't have that bloated feeling after meals if you only eat a quarter of what's on your plate. Cons: You're hungry an hour after dinner even if you didn't have Chinese food.

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Sleeping:

Pros: Can get much more accomplished in any given day if you only sleep one-fourth as long as usual. Cons: Grogginess can be a problem -- especially if your job is running a wood chipper.

Driving to work:

Pros: Going only a quarter of the usual distance to the office will cut way down on commute time. Cons: Stopping in the middle of the road might be considered a traffic hazard.

Paying bills:

Pros: Reducing your payments by 75 percent will leave you with a lot more cash at the end of each month. Cons: If you do this for too long, collection-agency goons may break 75 percent of your kneecap.

Sex:

Pros: Can't think of one offhand. Cons: First base is a lot less interesting than home plate. -- Michael Roberts

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