The Denver Nuggets' quarter-life crisis
If NBA games were decided after the first quarter of play, the Denver Nuggets would have been league champs several years in a row. Over and over again, the team gets off to a blistering start and builds up an early lead, only to slowly piss it away during the second and third quarters and wind up losing in the end -- which is precisely what hapened in last night's humiliating 111-101 defeat to Golden State.
Does George Karl think this is a winning strategy? Hard to say -- but perhaps we can change his mind with the following examples, which apply the Nuggets' one-quarter-is-good-enough approach to several of modern life's other basics.
Pros: Don't have that bloated feeling after meals if you only eat a quarter of what's on your plate. Cons: You're hungry an hour after dinner even if you didn't have Chinese food.
Pros: Can get much more accomplished in any given day if you only sleep one-fourth as long as usual. Cons: Grogginess can be a problem -- especially if your job is running a wood chipper.
Driving to work:
Pros: Going only a quarter of the usual distance to the office will cut way down on commute time. Cons: Stopping in the middle of the road might be considered a traffic hazard.
Pros: Reducing your payments by 75 percent will leave you with a lot more cash at the end of each month. Cons: If you do this for too long, collection-agency goons may break 75 percent of your kneecap.
Pros: Can't think of one offhand. Cons: First base is a lot less interesting than home plate. -- Michael Roberts
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
- Another Stabbing Near 16th Street Mall Raises More Safety Concerns
Thu., Sep. 3, 7:00pm
Fri., Sep. 4, 7:00pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 12:00am
Sat., Sep. 5, 12:30pm
- How Much a Family Needs to Earn for a Modest Standard of Living in Colorado
- 1 of 2 Denver Weekend Shootings Near Site of Rachel Aboytes's Unsolved Murder