Matt Taibbi is best known as a political writer for Rolling Stone magazine. But he also pens occasional sports pieces for the mag, many of them flat-out hilarious. Who could forget the December 2009 piece in which Taibbi referred to Jay Cutler as a "sniveling NFL superdouche"?
Taibbi's latest sports subject is none other than Tim Tebow, whom he dubs "Kid Jesus." And he clearly believes Kid Jesus saves.
In "Look Out for Tebow," a piece from the September 16 Mad Men issue that doesn't appear on RS's website, Taibbi offers five predictions for the coming NFL season. The first of these deals with the Broncos' new messiah under the heading "Kid Jesus Goes Long."
In the beginning, Taibbi seems to be setting Tebow up for a whipping. Instead, certain residents of Colorado Springs feel his lash. He writes:
Tim Tebow's hyper-Christian aw-shucks persona is not easy to like, and the fact that it so perfectly fits in with the huge masses of gay-hating Focus on the Family types in Colorado (remember Ted Haggard!) makes the whole Broncos picture doubly unappealing.
Nonetheless, Taibbi quickly disputes the views of observers who think Tebow's "balky wind-up" -- a delivery he likens to San Diego Chargers QB Philip Rivers' -- will "get NFL corners drooling for easy interceptions." And he likens Tebow's preseason touchdown run (the one that rewarded him with banged-up ribs) to John Elway's Super Bowl helicopter ride.
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There's a dreary kind of logic to Tebow stepping in late in the year and shoving all our noses in how wrong we were about him. Or he could be an epic bust like Lions QB Andre Ware, but I don't think so.
That may not be a vote in favor of Tebow's Focus on the Family-sponsored Super Bowl commercial -- but it's an attaboy for his potential from an unlikely source.
With an eye for superdouches.