Unlike our own drunken managing editor at the Fainting Goat, have you been sticking to the straight and narrow, sitting in a cubicle all day, with nary a sip o' anything green or otherwise? You still have time to carouse before they mop up the St. Patty's Day mess, and here are a few places to do it:
At Scruffy Murphy's, 2030 Larimer Street, the party's been in full swing since Friday, but there should still be live music, a swaggering Pint-Man and a few comely Guinness Girls hangin' about this afternoon and evenin' (go to the Scruffy website or call 303-291-6992). And in Larimer Square, ye olde Comedy Works, 1226 15th Street, hosts a stand-up (and falling-down?) evening with Dr. Kevin Fitzgerald and His Lucky Charms, beginning at 8 p.m. Tickets are $12; get online or call 303-595-3637 to reserve yours.
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At the very, very Irish Sam's No. 3, 2580 S. Havana Street, Aurora, they'll be celebrating with a St. Patrick's Day Fiesta, featuring live mariachi (very Irish!), plus balloon and caricature artists from 5 to 9 p.m. tonight, as well as traditional corned beef and cabbage with green beer, and not-so-traditional green burritos and green margaritas all day. Call 303-751-0347. Babes Around Denver will be offering drink specials to benefit the GLBT Center at Club M, Hamburger Mary's, 700 E. 17th Avenue. There's a $3 cover at the door; visit the BAD website or call 303-751-0347 for details. Drink specials also abound beginning at 4 p.m. at the Berkshire, 7352 E. 29th Avenue in Stapleton. Find them online or call 303-321-4010.
And finally, at O'Lannie's Clocktower Cabaret, 1601 Arapahoe Street, there'll be a wee bit o' the wearin' o' the green -- and little else -- when emcee Scooter McScooch and a bevy of burlesque girls present the St. Patty's Burlesque Bash, an all-Irish evening of live music, risqué dancers, comedy and more, beginning at 7:30 p.m. Admission is $10. Go to the Lannie's website or call 303-293-0075 -- or else you'll be green with envy.