I'm not proud of it, but I have to admit: I've never wished more professional ill on a football player than I do on Brock Osweiler.
Although Osweiler was erratic during his fill-in stints under center in Denver last year, the supposed heir apparent as Broncos quarterback did well enough to suggest that the squad had a succession plan in place for the fast-approaching day when Peyton Manning would retire to TV-commercial supremacy. But then Osweiler pulled a pout after coach Gary Kubiak pulled him for Manning just in time for the team's Super Bowl run — and instead of consoling himself with the knowledge that he was about to be handed the keys to a championship team poised to do more damage, he inked a $72 million off-season pact with the Houston Texans and has spent the months since then lying in an incredibly two-faced manner about the reasons why.
For that reason, I couldn't have been more pleased by Osweiler's astonishing mediocrity in the Broncos' 27-9 victory over the Texans last night — a game in which he threw for just sixty yards prior to garbage time and committed what might be the first perfect-spiral fumble in NFL history. (I'm not certain the referees got that last call right, but I was thrilled by their decision anyhow.) The only thing that would have made it better was a game-ending Von Miller sack. Maybe next time.
During and after the contest, Twitter Nation lashed Osweiler about the gulf between his compensation and his performance, and the resulting quips and clips are absolutely hilarious — if you're a Broncos fan, that is. Continue to see our twenty favorites, and be sure to click on the videos. You'll be glad you did.
How do you waste $72 million? @bosweiler17 Brock Osweiler the fucking traitor fuck you dude— Stephen Campbell (@madcat033) October 25, 2016
Brock Osweiler's agent should be our next US president simply for getting THAT garbageman $72 million.— Toylar loves Hillary (@BrettJohnson91) October 25, 2016
For 72 million dollars, I could invent a robot that throws better than Brock Osweiler lately. Good going #Broncos (on many fronts)!— False Flash (@Flasshe) October 25, 2016
Brock Osweiler is the worst thing 72 million dollars has ever bought #facts— Levi Garrett (@clayton_levi) October 25, 2016
The Texans are dumb asf... Brock osweiler is no where near worth a 72 million dollar contract... gaaaaaaaaaaaarbage— starlizzle (@_starlaangel) October 25, 2016
72 million dollars. That's how much the Texans paid for the absolute trash quarterback named Brock Osweiler. What a pity. #USCAISMS— Scott Yarmoff (@thescottyarmoff) October 25, 2016
Continue to see our picks for the ten most memorable tweets about Brock Osweiler after the Broncos' victory over the Texans last night.
Brock Osweiler when he signed that 72 million dollar contract with the Texans. pic.twitter.com/o4bbnnooWD— Ethan O (@EthanObama) October 25, 2016
Wait, the Texans didn't hold a visit with Brock Osweiler before they signed him? Who does that and gives a player 72 million? Come on man.— Sharief Ishaq (@ShariefIshaq) October 25, 2016
I'll take Trevor Siemian over Brock Osweiler any day. 525k definitely outperformed 72 million— Braxton Barber (@BraxtonBarber57) October 25, 2016
Brock Osweiler is earning 72 million whilst i'm on minimum wage #injustice— Ć (@guilewins) October 25, 2016
I can think of 72 million reasons why Brock Osweiler sucks— Tanner Kobal (@tjkobal) October 25, 2016
Brock Osweiler got a 72 million dollar contract with a 12 million dollar signing bonus. And he fucking blows.— Tyler Roy (@TRoySmooves) October 25, 2016
Lol Brock Osweiler is getting payed 72 million to throw the 2nd least amount of total yards in a game in NFL history with 40+ pass attempts— shaun (@shaunbucio) October 25, 2016
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Say what you want about Brock Osweiler but I would love nothing more than to make $72 million by being bad at football— James Stumper Jr. (@JamesStumper) October 25, 2016