Top 5 reasons Balloon Boy dad Richard Heene wanted his "experimental craft" back

Channel 9 reveals that the Larimer County Sheriff's Office has returned Balloon Boy dad Richard Heene's "experimental craft". Heene reportedly measured the balloon before accepting it, presumably to make sure the LCSO hadn't swapped his brilliant creation for a shoddy, second-rate Mylar inflatable. What the hell is Heene going to...

By Michael Roberts

May 14, 2010

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Channel 9 reveals that the Larimer County Sheriff's Office has returned Balloon Boy dad Richard Heene's "experimental craft". Heene reportedly measured the balloon before accepting it, presumably to make sure the LCSO hadn't swapped his brilliant creation for a shoddy, second-rate Mylar inflatable. What the hell is Heene going to do with the damned thing now? Here are our five best guesses:

5. Fill it with helium, have his kids suck the gas down, and then market them as "The New Chipmunks."

4. Create space-age dresses marketed under the slogan, "Cover Your Heene."

3. Show all those smart asses who dressed up as Balloon Boy last Halloween how to really rock a costume.

2. Bring it to future reality show auditions, to prove that he thinks big.

1. Leave Falcon alone with it and hope for the best. If at first you don't succeed...

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Michael Roberts began his career with Westword in 1990 as music editor. In 1999, he took on a new role, full-time media reporter, as author of a column called The Message. In 2008, he became the lead writer for Westword's news blog, The Latest Word, a position he held until January 2023. Michael continues to freelance for Westword, covering everything from business to sports and the media; he also contributes to Jazziz, a national music magazine. He holds a bachelor's degree from what is now Colorado Mesa University and master's degrees from the University of California, Los Angeles, and Northwestern University.

Contact: Michael Roberts

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