So the Broncos' year hasn't started off exactly like we hoped. That's okay: It's a long season. But if you still need some cheering up, you've come to the right place. As longtime fans of the NFL know, Peyton Manning can't say no to a good (and often bad) commercial opportunity. Below are our ten favorite Peyton Manning-related commercials. (And yes, the tapenade one made the cut.)
Frequently teaming up with younger brother Eli, Peyton has developed quite the reputation as a down-to-earth dude who has the ability to be genuinely funny at times, a rare feat in today's sports world -- and a good remedy for post-game melancholy.
This commercial almost doesn't work -- almost. But because Peyton Manning is an extraordinarily awesome human being, he pulls it off. The problem: Peyton is one of the smartest quarterbacks in the NFL. Here, he's a littletoo
dense. This would be a much better commercial for former Bronco (and current infant impersonator) Jay Cutler.9. MasterCard's World MasterCard
This is the Peyton Manning we love: confident, caustic and comfortable enough to go on a Sunday-morning hike knowing he still has to hand Philip Rivers his lunch later that afternoon. Sadly for Cleveland, having its opposing quarterbacks choke on assorted fruit basket items is about the only way the team can actually win a game these days.
Continue to see more of Peyton Manning's ten best commercials.8. Gatorade's "Play Your Best with Peyton Manning"
Somewhere in the timeline of human civilization, someone actually washed a window, elbowed their brother in the face and flicked a booger off their finger at the same time, then said, "I should do that while throwing a lopsided piece of pigskin through the air and make millions of dollars doing so." This is the interesting stuff they leave out of high-school history books.7. NFL Network's Thursday Night Football
This gives America insight to what a potential bar conversation would be like between an objective out-of-towner and an utterly-biased Bostonian. It's the only video on this list in which Manning doesn't actually make an appearance, but it was too good to omit.
Continue to see more of Peyton Manning's ten best commercials.6. DirecTV's NFL Sunday Ticket
This is the commercial that spawned the idea to compile a Peyton best-of list in the first place. Here, Manning clearly calls into question his potential customer's virility simply for having olive spread inside his refrigerator. If that's not funny, we don't know what is. Elsewhere, Deion Sanders gets to say the word "prime," which certainly gets his wings a flutterin'.5. Sprint's NFL Mobile
Some say this is the best Manning commercial of all time. We say, "Not so fast." Is it funny seeing Manning dress up like a crazed fan with greasy hair and a crooked mustache talking about his infatuation with the "real" Peyton Manning? Sure. But there were some other ones that were maybe a bit better... maybe.
Continue to see more of Peyton Manning's ten best commercials.4. MasterCard's Priceless Pep Talks
Manning once gave a lot of these "Priceless Pep Talks," but none were better than this. Here Manning displays one of his best qualities: honesty -- the brutal, unadulterated kind.3. Oreo's Golden Double Stuff
Who ever thought Peyton Manning and Golden Oreo lookalike Donald Trump would ever be pitted against one another in a lick-race for the DSRL title? Overlooking the idea that Donald Trump lick-racing for anything is repulsive beyond belief (can his tongue even fit outside his mouth?), this is actually a really funny commercial with solid acting by Peyton and a great cameo appearance by a poor soul appearing as Trump's double. Still confused about this whole "DSRL" thing? See the next video.
Continue to see more of Peyton Manning's ten best commercials.2. Oreo's Double Stuf [sic] Racing League
Kudos to Oreos -- Golden Double Stuf that is. This commercial is ridiculously original no matter how fraught with dirty innuendos it may be. It features an appearance by Mama and Papa Manning, a hair-metal theme song and Peyton clearly kicking Eli's ass in a lick-race -- at least until that damn chin-smear violation.
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SHOW ME HOW
Let's be honest: Who didn't feel this way after hearing the news that Peyton Manning signed with the Broncos back in March? Our Tebow was nice, but running got old. And he only took holy water when he froze up, which was really hard to find! There are lot of reasons this is numero uno on the list, but the most critical factor is definitely radioactive sweat. Seriously, what kind of liquid exits your body the exact same color that it entered it? More importantly: What happens if Peyton runs out of hydration when his mouth is closed? Maybe that's why the Broncos are 1-2...
Quick! Somebody fetch Peyton some Gatorade from the late '90s!