Videos: Penis-filled Super Bowl ads, Obama and Peyton Manning signal doomsday, theorist says
The Super (Sucky) Bowl was hellish for most of Denver (and for anyone else who watched, nationwide; it was ranked as the sixth-least-watchable big game in history by Deadspin), but it was even more so for Doomsday theorist and evangelist William Tapley, seen here.
Tapley first worked his way into our Freudian nightmares -- and into our hearts -- in 2011, when he showed up on The Colbert Report.
And his doomy predictions didn't end there.
After appearing on Colbert, Tapley made it onto Anderson Cooper's "Ridiculist" segment on CNN -- not once, but three times.
How did Tapley -- who calls himself the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse and the Co-Prophet of the End Times -- merit such an honor?
By pointing out in online videos that Denver International Airport is filled not just with satanic symbols -- as many other conspiracy theorists believe -- but with phallic ones as well. There are penises hidden in a mural of a penguin, as well as in the mane of "Mustang" (although he has some not-so-hidden genitals as well) and even in the overall design of the airport itself, Tapley has said in his YouTube videos (which you can see below).
And now Tapley is taking on Super Bowl commercials -- in particular that adorable Budweiser spot featuring the puppy that would rather hang out with the Clydesdales.
Earlier this week, Stan Diel, a business reporter for the Birmingham News, spotted Tapley's newest video, in which the Third Eye explains that the ad contains many references to the End times and the Antichrist.
"In the commercial called 'Puppy Love,' which won USA Today's Super Bowl ad contest, the puppy is born at a ranch identified as 'Warm Springs,'" Diel explains, pointing out that Tapley believes that's code for a lake of fire.
"[That's] where our puppy dog comes from," Tapley says in the video. "But this puppy dog is more than a cute, warm, fuzzy animal. He is a symbol of the Antichrist." Tapley also believes that the four Clydesdales represent the "beasts of the apocalypse."
But Tapley isn't done. He brings it all back to DIA.
Continue for more about William Tapley's Super Bowl doomsday theory, including another video. In another video, Tapley compares one of the murals at the airport -- painted by Leo Tanguma -- to a picture shown during an "evil" iPad commercial that also ran during the Super Bust.
He doesn't blame Tanguma or the iPad artist, by the way, suggesting that they were influenced by the Illuminati..
According to Tapley, both the mural and the iPad commercial depict the birth of the Antichrist. He also notes various places where genitalia have been, um, inserted into the paintings.
Here's that clip.
But there's more.
"Now there seems to seem some kind of occult connection between Denver, Barack Obama and this year's Super Bowl," he continues. Peyton Manning shouted "Omaha" 44 times in one of his playoff victories, Tapley points out -- but what the QB meant, of course, was "Obama."
And 44 is somehow Obama's number in Bible prophecy (we're a little fuzzy on this part); he is also the 44th president.
The Super Bowl was number 48, in the meantime, and four plus eight is the same as four plus four plus four, Tapley explains. And Obama is a puppet for those who would bring about the end of the world.
In other words, blame Obama for the Broncos' loss.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Westword's biggest stories.
- Reader: Christ, How Many People Need to Grow Weed in Colorado?
Sun., Sep. 6, 2:00pm
Fri., Sep. 11, 7:00pm
Sat., Sep. 12, 1:00pm
Sat., Sep. 12, 1:30pm
- Heat Up, Cool Off: Our Ten Favorite Colorado Hot Springs
- Ask a Mexican: Readers Respond to Dickhead in Denver