Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder: "A tour de force of executive douchery" -- and Mike Shanahan's next boss?
The Denver Post reports that former Broncos coach Mike Shanahan is in discussions to become the next coach of the Washington Redskins.
Familiar? That rumor's been floating around for weeks now, and it makes sense given that current 'Skins coach Jim Zorn is a dead man walking and the team has tons of cash to throw around. But it's seemed like a relatively long shot because Shanahan wants control of the football operation, and Washington owner Daniel Snyder is a mega-meddler who's responsible for wrecking one of the great franchises in pro sports, according to Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi.
We recently shared Taibbi's put-down of Jay Cutler, who he described as a "sniveling NFL superdouche." But a few weeks earlier, he dropped the Urban Dictionary on Snyder, whose performance this year has been, in Taibbi's words, "a tour de force of executive douchery."
Notice a theme? You will after the following excerpts from the piece, which isn't online:
In typical Washington spirit, [Snyder] spent a decade throwing gazillions at perpetual failure and this year attacked a crisis of his own (in his case, an NFL team that couldn't score 17 points against a 145-pounds-and under Pop Warner club) with the same policies that got him there: bad coaching hires and enough neurotic meddling to make George Steinbrenner look like the Dalai Lama...
Well, what has Dan Snyder ever done, except blaze a trail as the prototypical dipshit sports owner who turns virtually unlimited resources and perhaps the country's most passionate fan base into losses to the historically awful Detroit Lions? And his performance this year has been a tour de force of executive douchery, solidifying his status as the very worst owner not just in football but in sports...
The Skins play in a division with three of the most talented teams in the NFL, and here's Snyder spending $155 million this year on two players when he's still got Jason Campbell -- who'd be cut from the new Levitra ad because he can't throw the ball through the fucking tire -- under center...
He looks like a cross between Mitt Romney and a male nurse, with a spray-helmeted cube of black mannequin hair atop the pinched, entitled face of a guy bitching to a Howard Johnson's waitress about his curly fries not being curly enough."
The players, for all the money he throws at them, look like they wouldn't touch him with a two-foot Whizzinator.
Shanahan wants to work for a guy who's essentially the new century version of Al Davis, Big Mike's onetime employer and continuing nemesis, even though he's still got about $14 million remaining on his Broncos contract? He must be bored.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Westword's biggest stories.