Just in case you're thinking of taking one of your dead buddies out on the town, consider the cautionary tale of Robert Young and Mark Rubinson. True, they didn't get jail time: They've been sentenced to probation. But the additional punishments, not to mention the ignominious attention they earned for their stunt, definitely adds to the cost of their infamously crazy night.
As we originally reported last year, the unwilling participant in this twisted roundelay was Jeff Jarrett, a real-estate salesman who attended Colorado State University with Young, 43. A Jarrett relative told the Denver Post that Jarrett had kindly opened his door, and his home, to Young, who'd been experiencing tough times.
Then, late on August 27, Young arrived at Jarrett's place to find his buddy unresponsive.
According to court and police records, including statements of probable cause on view below, Young went to a restaurant where Rubinson, 25, works. Then, the pair drove back to Chez Jarrett, lugged the body into Rubinson's car and headed to Teddy T's, a bar and grill.
No, Jarrett didn't accompany them inside the watering hole. He was left in the backseat of the car. But he did pick up the tab.
From there, the intrepid trio headed to Sam's No. 3, one of the city's favorite breakfast spots. Afterward, Jarrett was apparently all in, so Young and Rubinson allegedly took him home. But while his travels were over, theirs had a few more stops to go. First, Viva Burrito, to refuel. Then Shotgun Willie's strip club, where they're said to have withdrawn $400 using Jarrett's bank card -- because he wouldn't have wanted them to go second-class, no doubt. And finally, after the last pole dance of the evening, they spotted a Glendale police officer and told him there might be a dead guy at Jarrett's house.
Which there was.
Debate took place about whether Jarrett could have been saved with quicker action by the duo. But in the end, they weren't punished for anything pertaining to that unanswered question. In January, Young pleaded guilty to felony identity theft and abuse of a corpse, while Rubinson confessed to only the latter, a class-two misdemeanor.
And their sentences, handed down yesterday? Young was given a two-year deferred judgment sentence for the identity theft count and two years probation for abusing Jarrett's corpse. He's been ordered to undergo a mental health evaluation as well as a substance abuse assessment, in addition to random urinalysis and breathalyzer tests to make sure he stays clean. In addition, he must perform fifty hours of community service, pay restitution of $1,289.56 and write letters of apology to those members of Jarrett's family who spoke in court at the sentencing hearing.
And Young? His one-year jail sentence was suspended in favor of two years' worth of probation. He, too, must undergo mental health and substance abuse testing and submit to random sobriety tests, as well as fork over $1,289.56 in restitution and write apology letters. But his community service requirement is four times longer than Young's -- 200 hours.
That should be enough to ensure he'll never take up Shotgun Willie's on its no cover for corpses after 7 p.m. discount offer.
Below, see larger versions of Young's and Rubinson's mug shots, a report on the incident from CBS4, and the pair's probable cause statements.
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More from our Colorado Crimes archive: "Richard Troupe charged with dropping trou at Burger King, asking staffer to hold his Whopper."