Westword wins five AAN awards, proves paying off judges still works*

*Just kidding. Maybe.

The degenerates at this humble (but glossy!) rag took home five awards at the recent Association of Alternative Newsweeklies annual conference in Tuscon, where it was decided for the 14th straight year that, yes, being free and having ads for massages and pot lawyers is still totally the way to go.

The winners (all in the largest-circulation division):

"The Good Soldier" by Joel Warner

First Place, Feature Story

"Father of Invention" by Joel Warner

Third Place, Feature Story

"State of Emergency" by Jared Jacang Maher

Second Place, Investigative Reporting

"The Rocky Mountain News is Going Down," "Five Rocky Stars Who Could Be Going Up" and "Last Rites on the Rocky Mountain News's Twittering" by Michael Roberts

Second Place, Media Reporting/Criticism

"Worst-Case Scenario" and "Hip Tip" by Kenny Be

Third Place, Cartoon

Download a full list of the winners here. And if you see these guys at the bar, make sure to ask them for money. These things do come with a cash prize, don't they?