What do you call half-Mexicans?

Dear Readers: Your faithful Mexican is busy putting the final touches on his coming magnum opus, Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America (out April 2012) and is thus at the rancho, getting handmade tortillas made by his chica in pigtails while he works on rewrites. But instead of a Best Of columna, I've decided to print excerpts from one of my all-time favorite reader interactions. Remember back in 2007, when I asked ustedes who are half-Mexican and half-something else to tell us what you call yourselves? The brilliant, hilarious responses offered show how genius the Mexi brain truly is. Space doesn't allow your local rag to print all the responses, but below are just some of the best. You can find the full list online. In the meanwhile, enjoy — and see you en una semana!

If you're half-Mexican and. . .

Half-African: Afrijoles


Gustavo Arellano

Half-anything: Inbetweener-beaner

Half-Arab: Garbanzo beaner, America's worst nightmare

Half-Australian: Aussican, Foster's Especial

Half-Black: Black beans, Choco-Taco

Half-British: Limey beans

Half-Cajun: Bayou Beaner, Mexi-Gumbo, Mexicajun, red beans and rice

Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinkano, combination plate, rice and beans, soy bean

Half-Caribbean: Carribeaner

Half-Filipino: Chilipino, Filitino, Flipamex, Mexipino


Half-British: Limey beans

Half-Canadian: Canexican

Half-Costa Rican: Mextica ("tico" is a nickname for Costa Ricans)

Half-Creole: Creolican

Half-Croatian: Cro-Mex

Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian

Half-Eskimo: Mexkimo

Half-French: Frenchican

Half-Gabacho: Chicangüera, Güerexican, Latinglo, Mixican

Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, chili kraut, Germexican, wiener beaner

Half-Hawaiian: Jalapiña, pineapple salsa

Half-Irish: Celtic Aztec, green bean, Paddy-Mex

Half-Italian: Mexican pizza, Mexitalian

Half-Jamaican: Jamexican, Rastacan

Half-Jewish: Jalapeño bagel, Jumex, kosher burrito, Mexi-Jew

Half-Korean: Kimchicano, Kimchinero, Korexican

Half-Lebanese: Mexiterranean

Half-Nicaraguan: Nicatamal

Half-Norwegian: Norskecan

Half-Oklahoman: Chokies, Okie-Frijoles

Half-Pakistani: Mexistani

Half-Panamanian: Panamex

Half-Peruvian: Lima bean

Half-Polish:Bean Pole, Polo-Cholo, Polexican, Taco Polaco

Half-Puerto Rican: Bori-Mex, Mexi-Rican, Porto-Mex

Half-Russian: Brown Russian

Half-Samoan: Samexican

Half-Somali: Hot Somali

Half-Swiss: Swexican, Swexicano

Half-Thai: Thaimex

Half-Turk: Turxican

Half-Vietnamese: Vietnamexican

Half-White: Honky-Tonk, Gringateca


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