What should Joe Nacchio do with his last six days of freedom?
A judge has ruled that disgraced Qwest CEO Joe Nacchio must report to a Pennsylvania prison by noon on Tuesday, April 14, to begin serving his six-year insider-trading sentence, which he's asked the Supreme Court to review. What should he do between now and then? Some suggestions:
Today: Run up a really massive cell-phone bill.
Thursday: Propose to Ruth Bader Ginsberg.
Friday: Spend the night drunk-dialing former Qwest investors.
Saturday: Spend the night drunk-dialing former colleagues who'll no longer return his calls.
Sunday: Finally watch the final season of Oz.
Monday: Start a Ponzi scheme. With Bernard Madoff out of circulation, the market's wide open.
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.