What should Joe Nacchio do with his last six days of freedom?
A judge has ruled that disgraced Qwest CEO Joe Nacchio must report to a Pennsylvania prison by noon on Tuesday, April 14, to begin serving his six-year insider-trading sentence, which he's asked the Supreme Court to review. What should he do between now and then? Some suggestions:
Today: Run up a really massive cell-phone bill. Thursday: Propose to Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Friday: Spend the night drunk-dialing former Qwest investors. Saturday: Spend the night drunk-dialing former colleagues who'll no longer return his calls. Sunday: Finally watch the final season of Oz. Monday: Start a Ponzi scheme. With Bernard Madoff out of circulation, the market's wide open.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Westword's biggest stories.
- Our Guide to Every Recreational Marijuana Store in Metro Denver
- Alex Landau on Why Failed Try to Recall Denver DA Mitch Morrissey Is Still a Win
- Boulder Cyclist Tom Danielson's Fiery Twitter Defense Against Doping Charge