I can kick your ass in Street Fighter II. I'm not kidding. You could be Ryu or Guile or even M. Bison if we were playing the Turbo version, and I could be lowly Zangief, and I would still bury you. I'd deliver a swirling, hairy, man-blizzard of Russian beatdown fresh to your goddamn doorstep. Because Street Fighter II was and is my favorite video game. I spent the greater part of sixth grade mastering it, and although many thought I was wasting my time, I still cling to the belief that someday there will be some dire situation in which several beautiful women's lives and vivacity hang in the balance, and someone will yell, "Quick, can anyone here absolutely dominate Street Fighter II on Super NES?" And then all eyes will turn to me, someone will hand me a controller, and the day will be... More >>>