Via our general mailbox:
There is in no righteousness of Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny, and actually neither one of them exist; let's be honest, Westword magazine, and stop lying to our children. There is no Santa Clause that leaves the North Pole and lands on a chimney, and then delivers presents and things like that. And it don't make sense, anyways -- reindeers that don't have wings and things, and then a Easter Bunny that lays eggs. Rabbits don't even lay eggs. I will be honest with you about it, Westword magazine: I used to think rabbits actually laid eggs, but they don't. They have babies, like other animals and things.
Thanks, Prophet Elijah -- you know your honesty is always appreciated.