Will there be a Star Wars Kid-like montage of Conan the Barbarian handling a sword? Will there be a giant octopus/snake (snaketopus) that must be defeated by way of a sword? Will a likewise giant sand-creature also require defeating through sword? Will there be other scenes involving a sword? WILL THERE BE NU METAL? The answer to all of the above is yes.
And that's what it may be, but what really puts this trailer over the edge into irredeemable ridiculousness is the nonsense, pandering-Hollywood all-things-to-all-people romantic subplot with the "empowered" woman who nevertheless depends on the barbarian to save her from evilness or whatever -- Hollywood, listen: No girlfriend anywhere, unless she is currently at this second farting loudly, wants to see this movie, and no amount of romance is going to change that. We came for only one kind of swordsmanship, and the only bodily fluid it involves is blood.
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