There are still plenty of classic horror out there waiting to be rendered in showtune form, though! Here are five horror classics we'd love to see get the musical treatment.
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Phantasm Don Coscarelli's tale of the world's creepiest funeral home director would make a wonderful musical. Why? Well, it's set in the '70s and two of the main characters are already in a band, for starters. That means lot of AM gold-influenced showtunes and feathered hair for everyone! Also, we'd really love to hear a song expressing the inner motivations of that horrific flying silver sphere, and those dwarf zombies would make for one hell of a chorus. The Omen The top reason for an Omen musical> There just aren't enough showtunes about Satan. Can you think of a better way to rectify that? Neither can we. We're also looking forward to the big birthday party set piece and the nanny's song of suicidal joy titled "Damien (I Did it All for You)." Then there's the matter of the devil's kid. You just can't go wrong with devil children, especially when they sing a song of evil in those high, sweet voices. Beautiful, really. Poltergeist The seemingly endless wave of '80s nostalgia is finally waning, so this one needs to get made fast. A nice blend of new wave- and hair metal-influenced tunes would seem to be the best bet, but really, as long as the creepy clown gets a good tune while it tries to pull the kid under the bed, we'll be happy. Well, maybe not happy, but our nightmares will have a catchy soundtrack, anyway. And we imagine the closing number about the dangers of building over ancient Indian burial grounds should be a doozy, too. How could it not be, with such rich subject matter to mine? Saw At this point, the Saw franchise is as played out as it could possibly be. That makes it the perfect time for a musical revival. Jigsaw is just the kind of melodramatic, over-the-top villain that musicals thrive on, so this one seems like a no-brainer. Or at least an incredibly elaborate mechanical trap that removes the brain of anyone who doesn't think this is a totally kick-ass idea. A Nightmare on Elm Street It's a miracle that no one has adapted this one yet. After all, Freddy Krueger always had a little of that Phantom of the Opera vibe, what with the horrible burning and all. It's also a fine opportunity to adapt Cheap Trick's "Dream Police" for the stage, because even though that song has nothing to do with A Nightmare on Elm Street, it totally should. Plus, if the thing got really, really successful, maybe they could get Johnny Depp to play the role of Freddy on Broadway, in a bizarre, Ouroborosian twist to the whole NoES saga.Follow @WestwordCulture
