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Best pictorial resurrection

Roy Romer

His legacy entrenched, Roy Romer seemed happy to have Coloradans remember him as the rugged, bomber-jacket-wearing governor he was. But less than two years after leaving office, history was already being rewritten -- or repainted, in the case of Romer's official portrait. In what turned out to be a bit of a secret operation, Romer removed from the State Capitol a portrait that depicted him in his trademark jacket, giving the thumbs-up sign; in its place, he installed a Daniel Sprick portrait that showed our former guv in a staid gray suit with a blue tie. He made the switch to "honor the tradition" of hanging more formal portraits in the Capitol, Romer explained. Too bad: He must have forgotten that a man makes the clothes, not the other way around.

Best unexpected performance by a city administrator

Veggo Larsen

When Tea Party founders Chuck Bonniwell and Mike Dunafon wanted their man in Glendale, they brought in Veggo Larsen, a financial planner from Manhattan, to run the town -- and do their bidding. But it turned out that Larsen was his own man who ignored the Tea Party's agenda in favor of pushing for the people. As a result, Bonniwell and Dunafon tried to dump Larsen along with former Tea Party faithful who'd turned against them. But so far, good government is winning in Glendale, and when the Tea Party's latest recall efforts failed, Larsen sent a sympathy note to Bonniwell. "He dedicated so much of his life," says Larsen, "and toiled endlessly to destroy the reputations and lives of people who lived and worked in Glendale, and it's gone largely without rewards. Having been the close and dear friend I was for so many years, I just figured some acknowledgement was appropriate."

Best unexpected performance by a city administrator

Veggo Larsen

When Tea Party founders Chuck Bonniwell and Mike Dunafon wanted their man in Glendale, they brought in Veggo Larsen, a financial planner from Manhattan, to run the town -- and do their bidding. But it turned out that Larsen was his own man who ignored the Tea Party's agenda in favor of pushing for the people. As a result, Bonniwell and Dunafon tried to dump Larsen along with former Tea Party faithful who'd turned against them. But so far, good government is winning in Glendale, and when the Tea Party's latest recall efforts failed, Larsen sent a sympathy note to Bonniwell. "He dedicated so much of his life," says Larsen, "and toiled endlessly to destroy the reputations and lives of people who lived and worked in Glendale, and it's gone largely without rewards. Having been the close and dear friend I was for so many years, I just figured some acknowledgement was appropriate."

Best new city for the Tea Party to take over

Highlands Ranch

The Tea Party's over in Glendale, and so far, its attempts to deal a winning hand in Central City have failed. Maybe the time has come to throw in the cards and move on to a town that could truly benefit from the Tea Party's colorful antics: Highlands Ranch.

Best new city for the Tea Party to take over

Highlands Ranch

The Tea Party's over in Glendale, and so far, its attempts to deal a winning hand in Central City have failed. Maybe the time has come to throw in the cards and move on to a town that could truly benefit from the Tea Party's colorful antics: Highlands Ranch.

Best city newsletter

Timberlines Lone Tree

The new city of Lone Tree, tucked beside Park Meadows, is tiny -- but it displays big humor in its newsletter, Timberlines, which recently included a photo essay suggesting that the town's hideous -- and empty -- Club Disney building be replaced by something a little grander -- say, the Taj Mahal. Even Lone Tree's motto provides a few chuckles: "The city that's growing...carefully." Unless, of course, the good people of Lone Tree approve that whopping annexation they'll be considering this summer.

Best city newsletter

Timberlines Lone Tree

The new city of Lone Tree, tucked beside Park Meadows, is tiny -- but it displays big humor in its newsletter, Timberlines, which recently included a photo essay suggesting that the town's hideous -- and empty -- Club Disney building be replaced by something a little grander -- say, the Taj Mahal. Even Lone Tree's motto provides a few chuckles: "The city that's growing...carefully." Unless, of course, the good people of Lone Tree approve that whopping annexation they'll be considering this summer.

Best speech by a politician

Statewide moment of silence, April 20, 2000, 11:21 a.m.

Need we say more?

Best speech by a politician

Statewide moment of silence, April 20, 2000, 11:21 a.m.

Need we say more?

Best toilet paper

The Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Community Services Center of Colorado

Those queers at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center don't wipe with just any toilet paper. No, they use sheets from The Homophobe Book, otherwise known as "a roll call of political stinkers." Printed on this exclusive tissue are drawings of Phyllis Schlafly, Pat Buchanan, Jesse Helms and Sam Nunn, along with shitty quotes from those well-known anti-gay crusaders. (Schlafly: "Distributing condoms in public schools is 'teaching safe sodomy.'" Buchanan: "Gays have waged war on nature...AIDS is nature's retribution on gays." Helms: "Homosexuals are trying to force their way into undeserved respectability." Nunn: "My gays in the military policy?...We don't ask and they don't tell...keep on hiding.") A case of the paper was donated to the center about a year ago by a local entrepreneur who had originally tried to market it at the 1993 gay and lesbian March on Washington; he was apparently less than flush with success, and the leftover boxes sat in a Denver garage for the next few years before they were discovered and distributed to local gay organizations. "We proudly use it every day," says Mike Smith, the service center's executive director. "It makes going to the toilet a politically correct experience." You might say it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Kiss my ass." The tissue does get lots of comments, Smith says, though some of them are kind of crappy: "It's not the softest toilet paper. We get complaints about quality -- but it's for a good cause, so people use it."

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