Social networking: Denver ranked 3rd in U.S. by Men's Health (eat our hashtags, Portland!)

Congratulations, Denver: You have officially been swallowed up whole by the Matrix. Men's Health recently came out with its list of the country's most socially networked cities, and Denver, of all places, came in third. Do we get a prize for this? Like a new FarmVille animal or something?...

By Joel Warner

March 14, 2011

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Congratulations, Denver: You have officially been swallowed up whole by the Matrix. Men's Health recently came out with its list of the country's most socially networked cities, and Denver, of all places, came in third.

Do we get a prize for this? Like a new FarmVille animal or something?

To tabulate such very important data, Men's Health compared the number of Facebook and LinkedIn users per capita, along with overall usage of social networks like Twitter, MySpace and Friendster, plus the number of folks in each household who poke around on blogs. When the digital dust cleared, Washington, D.C. was crowned America's Most Socially Networked City, although Denver wasn't far behind: It nabbed the number-three spot, right behind Atlanta, and all three top contenders earned an A+ for their plugged-in populaces.

Whoopee! Quick, everybody Digg this news right now, along with a tweet about it -- and stick it on your Facebook page! Then start a new blog dedicated to your shifting thoughts and feelings about it, and make sure you choose a really sweet custom theme. That will show a backward burg like Salt Lake City, which scored a paltry A-. Losers!

In other news, Men's Health is reportedly working on a new ranking, one that tabulates the cities with the least-productive office workers. Call it a hunch, but we have a feeling we're gonna score super-high on that one, too.

Here's the full list of the country's socially networked cities from Men's Health:

Most socially networked

1. Washington, DC A+ 2. Atlanta, GA A+ 3. Denver, CO A+ 4. Minneapolis, MN A+ 5. Seattle, WA A+ 6. San Francisco, CA A 7. Orlando, FL A 8. Austin, TX A 9. Boston, MA A 10. Salt Lake City, UT A- 11. Cincinnati, OH A- 12. Raleigh, NC A- 13. Burlington, VT A- 14. Portland, OR B+ 15. Madison, WI B+ 16. Dallas, TX B+ 17. Portland, ME B 18. Sacramento, CA B 19. Aurora, CO B 20. Boise, ID B 21. Charlotte, NC B 22. Wilmington, DE B 23. Oakland, CA B 24, St. Louis, MO B 25, Las Vegas, NV B 26. Columbus, OH B 27. San Diego, CA B 28. San Jose, CA B 29. St. Paul, MN B- 30. Plano, TX B- 31. Tampa, FL B- 32. Nashville, TN B- 33. Los Angeles, CA B- 34. Phoenix, AZ B- 35. Newark, NJ B- 36.. Miami, FL B- 37 Norfolk, VA C+ 38. Richmond, VA C+ 39. Chicago, IL C+ 40. Durham, NC C+ 41. Colorado Springs, CO C+ 42. Des Moines, IA C+ 43. Jersey City, NJ C+ 44. Indianapolis, IN C+ 45. Milwaukee, WI C+ 46. Fargo, ND C+ 47. Columbia, SC C+ 48. Houston, TX C+ 49. Philadelphia, PA C+ 50. Birmingham, AL C+ 51. Cleveland, OH C+ 52. Kansas City, MO C 53. New York, NY C 54.Greensboro, NC C 55. Reno, NV C 56. Manchester, NH C 57. Providence, RI C 58. Baltimore, MD C 59. Little Rock, AR C 60. Louisville, KY C 61. Sioux Falls, SD C- 62. Omaha, NE C- 63. Pittsburgh, PA C- 64. Baton Rouge, LA C- 65. Lexington, KY C 66.Wichita, KS C- 67. Anchorage, AK C- 68. Lincoln, NE C- 69. Cheyenne, WY D+ 70. New Orleans, LA D+ 71. Tucson, AZ D+ 72. Buffalo, NY D+ 73. Honolulu, HI D+ 74. Santa Ana, CA D+ 75. Charleston, WV D+ 76. Oklahoma City, OK D+ 77. Virginia Beach, VA D+ 78. Winston-Salem, NC D+ 79. Tulsa, OK D+ 80. Albuquerque, NM D 81. Fort Worth, TX D 82. San Antonio, TX D 83. Jackson, MS D 84. Chesapeake, VA D 85. Jacksonville, FL D 86. Riverside, CA D 87. Memphis, TN D- 88. St. Petersburg, FL D- 89. Toledo, OH D- 90. Corpus Christi, TX D-

Least socially networked

91. Billings, MT D- 92. Fort Wayne, IN D- 93. Bridgeport, CT D- 94. Detroit, MI D- 95.Fresno, CA F 96 . Bakersfield, CA F 97. Lubbock, TX F 98. Stockton, CA F 99 . Laredo, TX F 100. El Paso, TX F

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Joel Warner is a former staff writer for Westword and International Business Times. He's also written for WIRED, Men's Journal, Men's Health, Bloomberg Businessweek, Popular Science, Slate, Grantland and many other publications. He's co-author of the 2014 book The Humor Code: A Global Search for What Makes Things Funny, published by Simon & Schuster.

Contact: Joel Warner