Pissed Off Japanese Minnow Farmer

When I heard that the owners of the Candlelight Tavern had taken over the Kentucky Inn, it reminded me of The Parent Trap, the movie about identical twins who are separated shortly after birth when their parents divorce, meet as teens at summer camp, and begin plotting to reunite their estranged parents. To me, it always seemed like the Candlelight and the Kentucky Inn — two classic dive bars on the west side of Washington Park — shared the same DNA. They were so uncannily similar that, on occasion, you could forget which one you'd been drinking at the night before (or so I've been told). So now that they're officially related, it seemed high time to return to the Kentucky Inn. We walked in on a sunny Saturday and were greeted by a cheerful bartender named Summer, appropriately enough. I asked what she was pouring, and she handed me a shot called Pissed Off Japanese Minnow Farmer ($6), which was so ghastly that I gave mine to the exceedingly drunk cowboy sitting next to me (who'd earlier told me that he was "young, dumb and full of cum, with a big johnson" — though he didn't say it nearly that clearly). I can understand why the minnow farmer was pissed off: Made with vodka, gin, Jägermeister, raspberry and cranberry schnapps, this is a drink that's only drinkable long after you should have been cut off (as the cowboy soon was — not that he was driving). Noticing my reaction, Summer handed me another shot: a Vegas Bomb ($5), made with Crown Royal Whiskey, Peach Schnapps and Red Bull. This one was a real blast, as was our entire time at the Kentucky Inn.