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Blogs
December 5, 2011
The 50 worst sports movies of all time
Slap Shot 2: Number 28.The sports movie is rarely versatile: an outsider, or group of outsiders (wrong race, wrong gender, wrong species), have uncanny talent in their field, but the old guard (typically, white, old men), don't like the change the new person represents. So the rebels have to ... More >>
Blogs
October 27, 2011
Reader: Michael Bay has made a dozen blockbusters the world loves. And this blogger?
Run while you can!Filmmaker Michael Bay's entire career has been about punishing the audience for their awful taste -- namely, their taste for his work, Tim Davids suggests. And with the recent Transformers 3, Davids adds, Bay assaults us where we feel it most -- our souls. But Sutava isn't ... More >>
Blogs
October 20, 2011
Doomsday countdown, day four: Project Icarus and the asteroid that didn't destroy earth -- yet
Jerry Bruckheimer's prophesy was by far the most entertaining.Every sensible person knows that when Earth is eventually destroyed, it will be by a huge asteroid like the one that killed all the dinosaurs. We learned this mostly from Jerry Bruckheimer, but Jerry Bruckheimer probably learned it ... More >>
Blogs
July 5, 2011
Why Top Gun is my fourth-favorite movie of all time
The Cold War was America's perfect war. Hear me out on this one: No matter what their purpose, whether just (World War II) or crass (the Vietnam War), wars are ultimately pretty depressing. They involve a lot of dying in horrifying and gruesome ways that leave their participants forever scarr ... More >>
Blogs
July 5, 2011
13 Assassins, Once Upon a River and other new-release picks for July 5, 2011
Going back to work after a three-day weekend sucks, so take a few minutes to deviate from your expected tasks and plan your evening. Today promises some exciting new releases, which translates to exciting new ways to bond with yourself, whether it be chillaxing in your hammock reading a new b ... More >>
Blogs
July 1, 2011
10 things to do for $10 this weekend, July 1-4, 2011
As great as it is, don't let this be your only company this weekend.This 4th of July weekend, no one should be left watching the tube, sitting on the couch and drinking a Pabst Blue Ribbon all by themselves. No sir. There are plenty of things to do on this three-day weekend, and not all of th ... More >>
Calendar
June 30, 2011
The Drama inside the Drama
As great as it is, don't let this be your only company this weekend.This 4th of July weekend, no one should be left watching the tube, sitting on the couch and drinking a Pabst Blue Ribbon all by themselves. No sir. There are plenty of things to do on this three-day weekend, and not all of th ... More >>
Blogs
June 29, 2011
Transformers 3: we brought this upon ourselves
This time around, he even impressed himself.Earlier this year, we postulated that Michael Bay's entire career has been about punishing the audience for their awful taste -- namely, their taste for his work. He's tried racism, homophobia, assaultive cinematography and editing techniques, objec ... More >>
Blogs
June 27, 2011
Asteroid! A look back at the cinematic space-rock bombardment of the late '90s
Only Bruce Willis can save us now.At 11:00 this morning, an asteroid 5-20 meters in diameter came within 7,800 miles of Earth. Asteroids and meteorites (ever wonder the difference?) make close calls with Earth all the time, but no time in the history of the world was so harrowing as 1997 and ... More >>
Blogs
June 23, 2011
No more Transformers sequels? Please, Jesus, let it be true
Is it over yet?As the world braces for the money-shot of Michael Bay's third third and most massive robo-jaculation since his last entry into the Transformers mega-conglomeration two years ago, it's increasingly looking like franchise star Shia LaBoeuf might be, uh, pulling out, so to speak. ... More >>
Blogs
June 22, 2011
Cars 2 and other sequels that tried (and failed) to freshen up by going abroad
What's the best way to perk up a tired movie franchise? Most of the time, there is no way. But movie producers still continue to try by taking the old characters overseas and hoping the new locale will reheat the leftovers. Case in point: Cars 2. The film comes out this Friday and promises to ... More >>
Blogs
June 14, 2011
Battle: Los Angeles, presidential assassinations and more new release picks for June 14, 2011
New release day is often a daunting experience -- if you're a big fan of wasting away all of your paychecks on media like us, it makes for hard decisions and awkward conversations with the bank. Even if you do have the time to keep up with things, it's still hard to ensure you're not missing ... More >>
Blogs
May 27, 2011
Top five shark-related pop-culture references, in honor of Megalodon
A new exhibit is opening at the Wildlife Experience Museum tomorrow: Megalodon: The Largest Shark That Ever Lived. The exhibit includes a life-sized replica of megalodon (pictured above) and comparisons with other sharks we think of as scary-big, like the Great White, along with explanations ... More >>
Blogs
May 25, 2011
Candyland, and other childhood pastimes Hollywood has ruined
Yeah, this shit is totally like Lord of the Rings.Here's how the screenwriters of the upcoming Hollywood adaptation of Candyland -- the candy-themed board game for children who do not know how to read -- describe it: "We envision it as Lord of the Rings, but set in a world of candy." That i ... More >>
Blogs
May 20, 2011
Pirates of the Carbbean: On Stranger Tides is this week's most ridiculous trailer
Even though it's been shitty and cold and raining for approximately nine weeks now and it doesn't feel like summer at all, it's still late May, and that means that it's time for the ceremonial rolling out of the summer blockbusters -- so avast, because even more ridiculousness than at other t ... More >>
Blogs
April 28, 2011
The art of the mockbuster: Good artists copy, great artists steal
The art of stealing art is a long lasting one -- since the dawn of the civilized era, people have been copping other people's ideas and running with them. On some levels, there's no real shame in it, but when stealing is turned into a profitable business, things start to get a bit wonky. Toda ... More >>
Blogs
April 19, 2011
Portal Kombat: new release picks for April 19, 2011
Now that everyone finally has their taxes complete and their refund checks on the way, it means it's time to spend some cash on frivolous crap. Good thing we're here to help you with that, because we've got some seriously top-notch entertainment to bust your wallet wide-open with this week. W ... More >>
Blogs
February 8, 2011
The Situation wants to be in the movies. Here are five roles he could take
Step it Up's got a Situation.In one of the most ridiculous overstatements since Michael Bay got compared to an "abstract artist," Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino offered this analogy on Friday, explaining to the E! Network why he'd be leaving The Jersey Shore after next season: "It's like Mic ... More >>
Blogs
February 7, 2011
The Super Bowl commercials: Denver edition
The commercials of the Super Bowl are one of the biggest draws to the game for some people. Viewers love to see the somewhat witty, incredibly overproduced and expensive miniature films announcing that Volkswagen is the best, Detroit is better than where you are and Fox is the greatest statio ... More >>
Blogs
January 17, 2011
We brought this upon ourselves: A Michael Bay career retrospective
America's favorite action auteur-savant, Michael Bay, has spent years telling whoever will listen that his directional style is too hardcore for 3D, that adding depth would be too extreme and punishing on the average filmgoer. With last week's official announcement that Transformers: Dark of ... More >>
Blogs
December 2, 2010
Charly "The City Mouse" Fasano celebrates the holidays by giving three albums out for free
Until now, Charly Fasano's stories and poems have been available on cassette and CD on Fast Geek Press. Recently, though, he's made his catalogue available on Bandcamp for free, through January 20. What you'll get is three albums of nearly Bukowski-esque narratives about the city of Denver, a ... More >>
Blogs
December 2, 2010
Robots attack Denver! Top 10 androids that would really spell trouble for downtown
Yesterday, an 8-inch toy robot stuck to a pillar near Coors Field triggered hours of havoc downtown, culminating in the Denver bomb squad detonating the innocuous figurine in a hullabaloo of wondrous proportions. Wondrous, but also completely unnecessary. Clearly the little bugger wasn't out ... More >>
Blogs
November 5, 2010
Due Date is this week's most ridiculous movie trailer
Making a movie starring Zach Galifainakis and Robert Downey Jr. is kind of like making Jell-O: The result is awesome, and it's pretty difficult to fuck up. And sure enough, for about its first half, the trailer for Due Date makes the movie look like what it should be: a laid-back, occasional ... More >>
Film
August 5, 2010
Cop out: Injections of zaniness don't light the impersonality of The Other Guys
Making a movie starring Zach Galifainakis and Robert Downey Jr. is kind of like making Jell-O: The result is awesome, and it's pretty difficult to fuck up. And sure enough, for about its first half, the trailer for Due Date makes the movie look like what it should be: a laid-back, occasional ... More >>
Blogs
June 21, 2010
JonBenét Ramsey imposter pissed not to make Top Fake Celebrities on Twitter list
Not tweeting.JonBenét Ramsey can't raise objections about the person tweeting in her name, having been murdered in 1996 -- which is presumably why fake confessor John Mark Karr's been trying to create a JonBenét lookalike cult. But the faux-JonBenét can bitch -- and he/she is doing so abo ... More >>
Blogs
March 31, 2010
Noisetrade vs Bandcamp in pay-what-you-want grudge match
It's been three years since Radiohead blew everyone's minds with the pay-what-you-want model of music distribution, and since then many small sites have been looking to cash in on the idea. Noisetrade is one of these, and although the site has been around for a couple of years, it has recentl ... More >>
Film
November 26, 2009
The Road
It's been three years since Radiohead blew everyone's minds with the pay-what-you-want model of music distribution, and since then many small sites have been looking to cash in on the idea. Noisetrade is one of these, and although the site has been around for a couple of years, it has recentl ... More >>
Dining
November 19, 2009
Paradise Asian Cafe may not take you to paradise, but close enough
It's been three years since Radiohead blew everyone's minds with the pay-what-you-want model of music distribution, and since then many small sites have been looking to cash in on the idea. Noisetrade is one of these, and although the site has been around for a couple of years, it has recentl ... More >>
Blogs
November 18, 2009
Recast: If Hans Zimmer had a clue, this is what The Rock's soundtrack would've sounded like
Let's just go ahead and get this out of the way from the get-go: we love The Rock. We can't explain it but there it is. That said, we also hate Hans Zimmer with a passion usually reserved for evil dictators and ex-patriots. So what better example of Recast then to add a soundtrack to this beloved ... More >>
Blogs
November 17, 2009
Getting personal at Paradise Asian Cafe
It's what you like that matters. And I like science fiction movies and books about sailing ships and celebrity memoirs and amateur pornography. I like music made in the years that music really mattered to me -- those years I spent in high school and in kitchens and had very little of what a ... More >>
Film
February 19, 2009
The International
It's what you like that matters. And I like science fiction movies and books about sailing ships and celebrity memoirs and amateur pornography. I like music made in the years that music really mattered to me -- those years I spent in high school and in kitchens and had very little of what a ... More >>
Blogs
November 12, 2008
Pho 7: Talk about a cursed location!
It's what you like that matters. And I like science fiction movies and books about sailing ships and celebrity memoirs and amateur pornography. I like music made in the years that music really mattered to me -- those years I spent in high school and in kitchens and had very little of what a ... More >>
Blogs
September 19, 2008
The food at this theater sucks worse than a Woody Allen movie
It's what you like that matters. And I like science fiction movies and books about sailing ships and celebrity memoirs and amateur pornography. I like music made in the years that music really mattered to me -- those years I spent in high school and in kitchens and had very little of what a ... More >>
Blogs
August 24, 2008
Elitch Gardens: A Celebration with Altitude brings out the attitude
It's what you like that matters. And I like science fiction movies and books about sailing ships and celebrity memoirs and amateur pornography. I like music made in the years that music really mattered to me -- those years I spent in high school and in kitchens and had very little of what a ... More >>
Home Entertainment
March 20, 2008
Three the Hard Way
It's what you like that matters. And I like science fiction movies and books about sailing ships and celebrity memoirs and amateur pornography. I like music made in the years that music really mattered to me -- those years I spent in high school and in kitchens and had very little of what a ... More >>
Home Entertainment
October 18, 2007
Genuine Fake Robots
It's what you like that matters. And I like science fiction movies and books about sailing ships and celebrity memoirs and amateur pornography. I like music made in the years that music really mattered to me -- those years I spent in high school and in kitchens and had very little of what a ... More >>
Blogs
August 20, 2007
Donkey Kong Kill Screen, August 20
It's what you like that matters. And I like science fiction movies and books about sailing ships and celebrity memoirs and amateur pornography. I like music made in the years that music really mattered to me -- those years I spent in high school and in kitchens and had very little of what a ... More >>
Calendar
August 2, 2007
Gay Old Time
It's what you like that matters. And I like science fiction movies and books about sailing ships and celebrity memoirs and amateur pornography. I like music made in the years that music really mattered to me -- those years I spent in high school and in kitchens and had very little of what a ... More >>
Film
August 3, 2006
Downward Mobility
Brit movie brat takes the B horror movie where it deserves to go.
Film
August 11, 2005
Unknown Soldiers
The Great Raid's compelling story never comes to life.
Film
July 21, 2005
Send in the Clones
Michael Bay's up to his old tricks -- now older than ever.
Film
May 24, 2001
War As Video Game
In the whiz-bang Pearl Harbor, vintage history takes a back seat to a dated love triangle.
Film
September 7, 2000
The Bagmen Cometh
Go The Way of the Gun, and you shall be rewarded.
Film
May 25, 2000
Mission: Possible
Woo's follow-up film runs on Cruise control.
Film
December 23, 1999
Super Sunday
Oliver Stone tackles pro football on Any Given Sunday.
Film
July 30, 1998
A Star Is Borin'
Oliver Stone tackles pro football on Any Given Sunday.
Film
July 9, 1998
A True Disaster
Oliver Stone tackles pro football on Any Given Sunday.
Film
June 5, 1997
Rough Landing
Oliver Stone tackles pro football on Any Given Sunday.
Film
June 13, 1996
Bursting With Good Actors
Oliver Stone tackles pro football on Any Given Sunday.
Film
July 11, 1992
Movies
Oliver Stone tackles pro football on Any Given Sunday.
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