Santa Claus

Days Four and Five: Wherein I Play Blackjack and Get Sneezed On

Christmas Packages

The best holiday discs, as well as others that will make you pity the yule.

Beck

Midnite Vultures
(Geffen)

Santa rappels safely (damn it!) at the Denver Pavillions

I trekked to the Denver Pavilions today for the same reason dozens of others did: on the off chance that we could witness a man dressed as Santa Claus explode. Unbeknownst to me, there is actually an annual event wherein St. Nick rappels down the giant "Denver Pavilions" sign to inaugurate the ho ... More >>

Beyond Playlist presents Xmas-rated, part two: Reissues and Retreads

This year, we've wrapped our roundup of holiday albums a bit differently. Instead of delivering it to you in one big lump (like coal), we're parceling out the reviews online, with a blog each weekday through December 24 devoted to recordings in a different category. Part two features "Reissues and ... More >>

Beyond Playlist presents Xmas-rated, part four: Variety Packs

This year, we've wrapped our roundup of holiday albums a bit differently. Instead of delivering it to you in one big lump (like coal), we're parceling out the reviews online, with a blog each weekday through December 24 devoted to recordings in a different category. Part four features "Variety Pac ... More >>

Best Second Coming of Santa

Downtown Aurora

Best Oldies DJ

Da Boogieman, KXKL/KOOL 105

Best Day Trip

Manitou Springs

What does Santa Colorado do in the off-season? Chug wine and fight dogs

It's nice to see that Santa likes to unwind in the Rocky Mountains after a tough holiday season. But I'm thinking that ol' Kris Kringle has a little too much time on his hands after watching this video of "Santa Colorado" pounding Columbia Crest wine on his back porch and dancing/fighing with his ... More >>

Does Christmas ever end for Mexicans?

It's nice to see that Santa likes to unwind in the Rocky Mountains after a tough holiday season. But I'm thinking that ol' Kris Kringle has a little too much time on his hands after watching this video of "Santa Colorado" pounding Columbia Crest wine on his back porch and dancing/fighing with his ... More >>

Ciné Cult Classic

Francophiles gather at Starz to watch a festive French film.

Hate State Sets New Record: 365 Days of Rage!

Francophiles gather at Starz to watch a festive French film.

December to Remember

A Child's Christmas in Wales waxes nostalgic.

Sanity Claus

Separating holiday-music gifts from seasonal disorders.

Santa Baby...

Some culinary wishes and dishes for the new year.

Off Limits

The Santa Clause

Season's Bleatings

Thanks to these CDs, it's beginning to sound a lot like Christmas.

Talking Shop

The early bird gets the bargain

Well Trained

Polar Express is a kids' action movie that parents will warm to.

This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

Polar Express is a kids' action movie that parents will warm to.

Mistletunes

Rounding up holiday discs that offer season's greetings -- and beatings.

Xmas Marks the Spot

A guide to new holiday discs, from surprise presents to Tannen-bombs.

The Latest Noels

'Tis the season to rate another avalanche of holiday discs.

Holidaze

Unwrapping our annual roundup of musical season's greetings -- and beatings.

Time of the Season

This year's holiday CDs alternately inspire joy, nausea and terror. Which would you prefer?

Music for the Holidaze

Digging out from a blizzard of seasonal CD releases.

Big Bang Theory

Digging out from a blizzard of seasonal CD releases.

Christmas Seasoning

Hark! The Herald Angels are practically the only group without a holiday CD this year.

CLEARED FOR TAKEOFF

Hark! The Herald Angels are practically the only group without a holiday CD this year.

JUST SAY NOEL

THIS YEAR'S CHRISTMAS DISCS PROVIDE SOME ROUGH SLEDDING.

YULE'S GOLD

THE GOOD, THE BAND AND THE UGLY CHRISTMAS ALBUMS FOR 1994.

Kenny Be's Sign Language: Sexy Santa seeks gift buddy for casual Christmas

​ Handmade decorations allow celebrants to use traditional holiday images to craft deeply personal messages. In the painting pictured above (spotted on South Cherokee Street), the typically pudgy Santa Claus appears as a muscular hunk who wears a sexy off-the-shoulder tank top and summons tha ... More >>

Fire on the Mountain

​ Handmade decorations allow celebrants to use traditional holiday images to craft deeply personal messages. In the painting pictured above (spotted on South Cherokee Street), the typically pudgy Santa Claus appears as a muscular hunk who wears a sexy off-the-shoulder tank top and summons tha ... More >>

Kenny Be's Friday Afternoon Club: Nick LeMasters and Donna Baldwin at Second Home

​ "We want a high-tech-savvy, personal-trainer-type male model to play an up-market Cherry-Creek-quality kind of Santa Claus. We'll want your talent agency to supply us with a fresh new Santa every day, but don't send any males over the age of thirty; they frighten the children."

Here Comes Santa Claus

​ "We want a high-tech-savvy, personal-trainer-type male model to play an up-market Cherry-Creek-quality kind of Santa Claus. We'll want your talent agency to supply us with a fresh new Santa every day, but don't send any males over the age of thirty; they frighten the children."

Ho-Ho-Holy Shit

​ "We want a high-tech-savvy, personal-trainer-type male model to play an up-market Cherry-Creek-quality kind of Santa Claus. We'll want your talent agency to supply us with a fresh new Santa every day, but don't send any males over the age of thirty; they frighten the children."

Kenny Be's Worst-Case Scenario: Jake Jabs saves the day!

As the Grand Marshal and chief sponsor, the American Furniture Warehouse owner will bring a fresh new look to the 2009 Parade of Lights... Jake will lead the glittering festivities dressed as Santa Claus and will ride in a Florence Italian Leather Club Chair sleigh pulled by Rudolph, the red-nosed ... More >>

Top five most overplayed Christmas songs in stores

"Do I irritate you?"​Worry over the outcome of a mail-in vote on a new contract isn't the only thing stressing out King Soopers workers this season, as I learned during a shopping trip yesterday. When "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" came streaming over the speakers, our teenage s ... More >>

Christmas traditions that should really die now

​Christmas is all about tradition: the tree, the presents, Santa Claus and, if you're so inclined, that Jesus fella. But just because we've been doing it for so long doesn't mean that it's still a good idea. Some things are good: Christmas specials, family dinner, lights on trees, filled stock ... More >>

Hell yeah, Santa: Kris Kringle rappels down the giant Denver Pavilions sign tonight

​There are certain things Santa Claus does all around the world: hang around at malls, jingle annoying bells for homeless people, slip his jolly ass down chimneys. And that's all fine and good, but in here in Colorado, let there be no doubt that old Saint Nick does not fuck around. Tonight, fo ... More >>

Your guide to this year's Christmas movie crop

Ah, better times.​It's the most wonderful cash crop of the year, this Christmas thing. And while we feel there's been a decline in the quantity of Christmas movies lately (a political correctness issue, perhaps?), Hollywood can't help but put out one or two cheer-baiting full-lengths annually. ... More >>

N.Z's Smokin' Guns and seven more Denver street food trucks will converge at Elitch's tomorrow to feed your gut and collect toys for the Denver Santa Claus Shop

​Eight local street pavement pushers, who hustle grub from the confines of their mobile kitchens, will roll their wheels into the parking lot of Elitch's tomorrow as part of a toy drive to benefit the Denver Santa Claus Shop, a local nondenominational non-profit that collects and distributes ... More >>

Top five foods to leave Santa instead of cookies

"You'd better watch your ass, Rudy -- Palin's got a gun"​ Over the years, poor St. Nick has been subjected to countless glasses of room-temperature milk and endless holiday plates of instantly-stale-out-of-the-oven sugar cookies dotted with those tiny silver-ball decorations (they're actually ... More >>

The Christmas movie selection on Netflix Instant Streaming is terrible

Yep, that exists.​It's 2010. We demand a solution to our seasonal movie needs that doesn't require leaving the house. Netflix Instant Streaming is our usual go-to in these sorts of occasions, but holy crap, have they dropped the ball on this one. There is no convenient way to browse what's ou ... More >>

Flick Pick: Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

Yep, that exists.​It's 2010. We demand a solution to our seasonal movie needs that doesn't require leaving the house. Netflix Instant Streaming is our usual go-to in these sorts of occasions, but holy crap, have they dropped the ball on this one. There is no convenient way to browse what's ou ... More >>

Celebrity Santas whose laps we fear to sit on

​Aside for obvious problems with suspension of disbelief -- how are we going to pretend Chris "The Birdman" Andersen is Santa when we already know he's The Birdman? -- hiring a celebrity to play Kris Kringle can create a slew of dissonance and mildly disturbing associations, particularly if th ... More >>

What week is it? Several weird ways to celebrate Christmas

​As a public service to compulsive drinkers, on Mondays, we usually give you a breakdown of all the obscure holidays you could be celebrating that week. This week, however, there's no need for that, because this week heralds the coming of the granddaddy of all holidays: Boxing Day, the Canadia ... More >>

A very special Easter message from the Prophet Elijah

Stop lying to our children.​It's April, and Easter will be here before you know it -- which means it's time for the Prophet Elijah to weigh in. One of our perennial tip-line favorites, the prophet calls us with impressive regularity to tell us his thoughts on a variety of subjects, including w ... More >>

St. Nick of Time

Stop lying to our children.​It's April, and Easter will be here before you know it -- which means it's time for the Prophet Elijah to weigh in. One of our perennial tip-line favorites, the prophet calls us with impressive regularity to tell us his thoughts on a variety of subjects, including w ... More >>