Oh. My. God. It's a freakin' miracle! No, really, now you can have your daily bread with -- holy crap -- Jesus! All while chugging down your morning jolts of java with a side of Lucky Charms.
This is not a gag gift, people. No, we're talking about a genuine toaster that sears Jesus's image onto your wheat, rye or white, and it's the invention of Galen Dively, an entrepreneurial fellow who lives in Walden, Vermont and hustles customized toasters, including the Jesus toaster, equipped with seven different heat settings and a "convenient clean-out tray." If this is what you'd like Santa to park under your tree this year, they sell for $31.95, including shipping. Lord, have mercy. Interestingly, Dively also pimps a pot toaster and a peace sign toaster.
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SHOW ME HOW
But it's the Jesus one that really caught our attention, and it caught the attention, too, of one of those creative types, who uploaded a Youtube video, complete with the likeness of George Walker Bush thumping the toaster with his thumb and rapping lyrics like this: "Spread the love of Jesus with your favorite kind of jam, if you're gonna follow him, you can even eat a little ham."