You've compiled a library of wine encyclopedias, amassed a cellar that's worth more than your house and driven away your closest friends and relatives with your incessant commentary on the nose, palate and quality of every sip of magical grape juice that passes through your lips.
There's only one next step, you oenophile, and it's the level one class with the International Wine Guild. Because after that, you'll be able to tout your status as a wine expert -- with the gilded title to back it up.
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Don't feel like shelling out the $500 to get it? Cellar Wine Bar, 2556 15th Street, would be happy to help you out.
Right now, the Highland wine bar is running a little contest: like the place on Facebook and via the "Welcome" tab, tell them why you deserve to win the prize. The spot will pick its favorite five and let other fans vote on the winner.
Too much effort? Drinking more your style? Stop in and have one of the places dozens of wines by the glass, instead.
Contest hopefuls, you've got until December 15 to enter. For more information, dial 303-455-9463.