Five best marijuana meals for a real Rocky Mountain high
Beyond the brownies...
With the passage of Amendment 64 -- which legalizes recreational marijuana in the state of Colorado -- I know I'm not the only one looking forward to the vast array and variety of weed-infused edibles that one day we'll be able to prepare at home -- and maybe even order. Will we see a green-light special aisle at Whole Foods? And pot pies just like grammy used to make after she was paroled?
Parsley, sage, rosemary and weed.
5. Swaghetti with red potsta sauce.
Spaghetti is a cost-effective and popular dish for both restaurant and home dining, and now we can really light it up. The most important thing to know about a good pot of potsta sauce is this: Save the jars for your stash, and always make it fresh, from scratch. This is one of the dishes in which you can use actual chopped buds, without having to process the marijuana into butter, oil, or tincture form -- unless you really want to -- and since concentrated amounts of cannabis generally taste like a bag of mashed assholes, a hearty blend of garlic, onion, rosemary, thyme, oregano and basil will help mask the displeasing flavor. The beauty part of a steaming, savory plate of swaghetti is that ingesting the buds will take longer to get you high: twenty minutes to an hour-ish, so you have plenty of twirling time until you are stoned as a gravel road.
4. Cannabiscuits and ganja gravy.
Wakey-wakey, kush and bakey is done effectively -- and enjoyably -- in half the time by downing a plate of cannabis-infused biscuits and gravy, and using a good sativa strain for some morning mental alertness. These are as easy to prepare as the regular B & G, just use cannabutter in the biscuits and, for extra potency, cannabis-infused milk (canna milk) in the gravy. Copious amounts of black pepper are the norm with these, anyway, and will level out any strong flavors. If Carl's Jr. decides to jump on the potwagon and makes these its rise-and-shine special, I'm betting the lines around the block will last until well into lunch time.
3. Marijuana-roni and cheese.
Fancy macaroni-and-cheese entrees have been the restaurant industry's golden ticket for longer than I care to remember, and if I had a shiny nickel for every bowl of macaroni and cheese I've eaten made with imported Camembert, filled with rare cave mushrooms and wild mountain chives, stirred with smoked salmon and puddled with truffle oil, I could well afford to open my own dispensary. So it makes perfect sense that the addition of a few drops of finishing hash oil to the usual bowl of pasta and cheese sauce will add allure, upcharge and a lovely touch of contrasting green color. Watch for the rapid development of gourmet truffle/hash oil, which will allow chefs to go overboard for the next twenty years.
Sorry man--it's Cheetos and Goldfish from here on out.
2. Lobster reefer roll.
The overwhelming amount of tarragon I've found in the lobster salad in every lobster roll I've had over the last couple of years could easily be replaced with a few rough-ground marijuana buds, and the price of boutique weed and fresh lobster would make this hand-held, bougie luncheon treat the most expensive thing on any restaurant menu. The down-ticket version of the lobster reefer roll, of course, will be the more affordable "tuna verde" sandwich on untoasted white bread, which restaurants should serve "Hickenlooper style" with a side of Cheetos, Goldfish crackers and a pint of Wynkoop's Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout.
Pile the nachos plate high.
1. Nug nachos with ganja-mole.
I nominate our local chain, Chipotle, to be the first restaurant in Colorado to make the ultimate weed-lovers' delight: nachos, danked-out with the finest local, organic, sustainably-raised marijuana that is gently nestled in the guacamole, baked into festive green tortilla chips and added to some special "green goddess pico de gallo." Since nachos are one of the traditionally-recognized foods of native Colorado bong-bangers, Chipotle will have the niche market advantage of being the first popular chain to make Amendment 64 its bitch. And ad slogan ideas offer endless possibilities, including "Black Beans--and Acapulco Red!," "That Ain't Cilantro You're Eating!" and my personal favorite, "Steve's Not Here, Man."
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