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Five better bets John Hickenlooper could have made with Maryland

Triple M sheep, destined for Maryland?Governor John Hickenlooper is grilling lamb chops on the steps of the State Capitol this afternoon, in advance of mailing a package of a dozen lamb chops from the Triple M Bar Ranch in Manzanola to Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley, to settle their bet on last Saturday's playoffs game. Had the Denver Broncos won, Hickenlooper would be getting a dozen Chesapeake Bay crab cakes. The Baltimore Ravens dashed Denver's hopes, which is why Hickenlooper will be sending off that tasty Colorado lamb. Still, we can think of a half-dozen other items the sheepish governor might want to send to Maryland instead. See also: - John Hickenlooper cites Cheetos, Goldfish when Amendment 64 passes: Official state munchies? - Balls! What does Colorado taste like to you? - Ken Salazar threatens to punch out reporter for wild horse question

Ean Seeb of Denver Relief, Governor John Hickenlooper and some snacks.
Ean Seeb of Denver Relief, Governor John Hickenlooper and some snacks.

5. Cheetos and Goldfish On election night, after it was clear that Amendment 64 would pass, Hickenlooper warned eager pot fans that "federal law still says marijuana is an illegal drug, so don't break out the Cheetos or Goldfish too quickly." That line inspired plenty of late-night jokes -- and a call to make Cheetos and Goldfish -- baked, of course, not fried --Colorado's official snack food.

A Twirling Hippie cheesecake.
A Twirling Hippie cheesecake.

4. Any edible containing pot While it would certainly be easier to ship Cheetos and Goldfish across the Colorado border, a nice selection of marijuana-containing edibles -- including a Cheesecake Lady cheesecake -- would show the rest of the country how a new industry is really cooking in Colorado.

Five better bets John Hickenlooper could have made with Maryland

3. Craft beer It's also illegal to ship beer that's over 5 percent ABV across state lines -- but people do it all the time. So reporters were surprised when Hickenlooper made a protein-packed bet with O'Malley, rather than going for craft beer. But he had his reasons, and they didn't involve the law. He was simply showing mercy to Maryland (not that the Ravens did the same for the Broncos, since that state would have had to send so many brews to match the quality of just one Colorado craft beer.

 

Five better bets John Hickenlooper could have made with Maryland

2. Rocky Mountain oysters Just think of the publicity this state would get if Hickenlooper stopped by the National Western Stock Show, picked up a bull (such as this specimen spotted last night), took it to the Capitol, butchered it on the steps, and fried up some fresh Rocky Mountain Oysters. Not only would the Stock Show get a good boost, but the governor would display the kind of raw courage the Broncos lacked in double overtime.

Five better bets John Hickenlooper could have made with Maryland

1. Horsemeat Not to beat a dead horse...

Five better bets John Hickenlooper could have made with Maryland

Honorable mention: Sour Grape Crush Yes, a load of Orange Crush might seem more appropriate...but in the wake of the Denver Broncos' loss, this state has a bad case of sour grapes.



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