In case you've got nothing else planned for tonight and have a yen to go rub up against a whole bunch of other Denver foodies and star-fuckers, don't forget that the one and only Guy Fieri (the restaurateur, Food Network workhorse and hair-bleach pitchman) is bringing the circus to town tonight at the Paramount Theatre.
The circus in question is Fieri's own "Culinary Road Show"--some kind of knives-and-fire stage show revolving around the bleach-blonde Fieri getting all weird and freaky with kitchen implements (though not, tragically, in a G.G. Allin kind of way), screaming at the audience and admiring himself up on one of those big Jumbo-Tron screens (because yes, he can see out the back of his head, which is why he always wears his sunglasses backwards).
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Fieri will be backed up by Hayden Wood, an Aussie trick bartender who will allegedly do all sorts of unusual things with bottles and liquor (except, you know, pour drinks for people in the audience) and Frank Bonanno (who will, uh... make lobster ramen for everyone?), but will finally take the stage himself, promising "food, rock n' roll, and everything they won't let me do on TV!"
Yeah, the exclamation point is his. Because that's how you know it's gonna be exciting!
Tickets are still available for the 7:30 p.m. showthrough the Paramount box office for those of you interested in "digging the scene" (Julie & Julia and the new Cleaving) who was supposed to be headlining at the Paramount the next night but had to cancel for undisclosed reasons. But what's more important to me than actually seeing Fieri up on stage, dancing around with his sunglasses on wrong, is where he might be eating either before or after the show. Since we did it for Bourdain (Fieri's diametric opposite on the entertainment spectrum, a distant kitchen cousin), I think we should do the same for Fieri. You know, just in case the little fella works up an appetite while performing.
So what do you say, folks? Where should Mr. Diners, Drive-ins & Dives spend his hard-earned nickels while in the Mile High? Answers below. The more, the merrier...