Hey, glutton: Can you tackle Denver's beastiest food challenges?

Virgilio Urbano is still seeking a ninja to finish off the Hugilio
Virgilio Urbano is still seeking a ninja to finish off the Hugilio
Lori Midson

Denver may be one of the healthiest cities in America, but it's still full of Americans. And many Americans are in constant pursuit of more efficient ways to get fat -- and get free T-shirts. Food challenges satisfy both criteria.

So when you've abandoned your New Year's resolution to drop a few pounds and your trial membership at the gym runs out, try to tackle some of Denver's most gluttonous meals:

Jack-n-Grill's seven-pound breakfast burrito: Once dubbed the fattiest food in Colorado, this behemoth could be labeled the Potato Challenge. Five of the seven pounds are spuds. Twelve eggs, a half-pound of ham, a half-pound of cheese, onion and your choice of chile round out the burrito. Adam Richman, of Man v. Food, couldn't make man proud and threw in the towel. Contestants can't go to the bathroom, stick a finger down their throat or make substitutions. They do have unlimited time and, if successful, get the burrito for free and their picture on the wall of fame. Ladies who keep the whole burrito down earn free food for life at Jack-n-Grill with a limit of one meal per day. Six women have won -- but none has come back daily for the seven-pound burritos.

Mile High Pizza Pie's Great Calzone Challenge: At just a few weeks old, Mile High is the new kid on the food-challenge block. So new that no one has taken down its 7.5 pound calzone named "The Big One." The challenge also requires eaters to down what owner Howard Ellis describes as "a bucket of soda." Contestants can choose any combination of fillings they want, take as many bathroom breaks as needed , and have an hour and a half to finish this mammoth meal. The lucky winner receives the $20 calzone for free, his picture on the wall of fame and a T-shirt that lets everyone know he "Ate the Big One." Mom would be proud.

Virgilio's Pizzeria's "Hugilio": No wonder no one has been able to eat it yet -- it's eleven fucking pounds! The 28-inch pie is so big that not even a $1,000 prize has motivated someone to push through the pain. If someone ever can put this one down in under two hours, they also receive the $65 pizza for free, a bottle of wine and get their picture on the wall.

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