I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, but it's National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day. In fact, by now your chocolate-covered raisin party is likely in full swing, and all your friends are tanked on prune juice and gin.
Another memorable March 24, indeed.
For those of you who don't believe this moderately enjoyable snack has its own day, just ask the residents of Raisin City, California, how real the holiday is. Each year Raisinets take over this small town for a celebration complete with a parade and relay race. Chocolate Covered Raisin Day is all too real.
But what about the rest of these food holidays?
1. Something on a Stick Day: What's more American than eating horrible food without all the fuss of cutting food and using utensils? While corn dogs, popsicles, marshmallows and kebabs are popular choices on this day, feel free to get exotic on March 28. Deep-fried kangaroo? Why not? Deep-fried cheesecake? Hell, yeah! A combo of both? As long as it's on a stick. It's a holiday, after all... Real or Fake?
2. Tortilla Chip Day: "Real" life is really just the time we spend between chipping and dipping, right? Those moments when crispy chip meets salsa or dip are when memories are made. Whether you prefer corn or flour, spring for an extra bag on February 24. Real or Fake?
3. Candy Cigarettes Day: Remember back in the day when you and your friends looked so cool pretending to smoke candy cigarettes? You appeared so sophisticated blowing a little plume of powdered sugar smoke. Then you ate a whole bunch of sugar and chemicals, got crazy-hyper and fast-tracked yourself to type two diabetes. Good times. Relive them on November 10. Real or Fake?
4. Candied Orange Peel Day: These delicacies are most commonly seen on seasonal baked goods, specifically desserts. But May 4 is the day when candied orange peels stand proud on their own, a day to toss down two dozen straight up. Warning: This celebration may cause both a stomach ache and hatred of candied orange peels. Real or Fake?
5. Eat Plants Day: This isn't a day to go vegetarian for 24 hours -- it's a day when you're actually supposed to eat plants. In an effort to better connect with wild animals and appreciate the way our ancient ancestors lived, those who celebrate this holiday head to the nearest wilderness area or park and eat leaves, pine needles, flowers or whatever else will fill them up. Eat like an animal on June 6. Real or Fake?
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SHOW ME HOW
6. Mustard Day: Fuck ketchup. The first Saturday of August, put mustard on everything. Real or Fake?
7. Smoothie Day: Pretend you have a broken jaw that's wired shut for one day. Most people celebrating Smoothie Day on December 13 go with fruit and vegetable smoothies -- but we recommend you stick to your normal diet and just wear out your blender. Eggs, bacon and potatoes for breakfast? Cook 'em up, add milk and get to mixing. If you're roasting a whole chicken, just be diligent to pick out all the bones. An added bonus is that all your meals are portable, which means you can knock out some holiday shopping while downing a pot roast smoothie. Real or Fake?
8. Moldy Cheese Day: A general rule of thumb is to toss soft cheeses with mold and to cut mold off harder cheeses and eat the rest. But on October 9 we recommend you eat all the cheese mold you can stomach. We heard it totally makes you trip balls, man. Real or Fake?
Leave your answers in the comments section and we'll award the winner with props -- mad props, in fact.