When a drag queen starts talking about her inner bitch, you know it's time for a cocktail. There are other good times for cocktails, of course, but it would be hard to top Tuesday night at Lannie's Clocktower Cabaret, when the hilariously funny "Demented Divas" take the stage at the base of the D&F Tower at 16th and Arapahoe streets. While Lannie's offers other great shows (including performances by Lannie Garrett herself, nights featuring Ron Ivory and burlesque/comedy events), Nuclia Waste and her sidekicks Portia Potty, Iona Trailer and Gabbriella Butz'In make marvelous coquettes, despite their rather non-girlish frames and gargantuan, jewel-colored sparkling beards. Taking songs from such archetypal divas as Cher ("Can you believe I'm still around, still around, still around?"), they mercilessly change the lyrics -- so that Britney's "Hit me baby one more time" becomes "Make my boobies one more size." As a perfect complement to the evening, I ordered the LannieTini ($9), made with Charbay Pomegranate vodka, Cointreau orange liqueur, cranberry juice and a splash of soda. It looked fabulously diva-esque and tasted perfectly delicious at the same time. At the end of a drink- and drag-filled evening, Nuclia Waste told the audience, "We hope we've helped you find your inner drag queen." Honey, I don't know about my inner drag queen, but my inner bitch couldn't be happier.


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