Independent of his wife's stance on healthy eating, here's what we know about President Obama's food preferences: He likes pizza, as evidenced by his recent jaunt to the Sink in Boulder; he has a special fondness for burgers, a fact that's been documented in just about every city he's graced, including Arlington, Virginia, where he once treated Russian President Dmitry Medvedev to "real American burgers," except that Obama ordered cheddar cheese rather than American (blasphemy!), and he asked for it - gasp - medium-well; he likes hot dogs, too -- especially chili dogs and Costco dogs -- although his doctors have called his obsession with wieners (Mitt Romney notwithstanding) "deadly," and he definitely has an obsession with pie, be it pumpkin, pecan or apple.
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Our POTUS, we've discovered, also partakes in a hoagie now and then, recently choosing Taylor Gourmet, a deli in DC, to conduct a roundtable discussion, where he attempted to sandwich the Republicans.
And while we can't find any documentation that Obama has an affinity for Middle Eastern cuisine, we do know that Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann generated plenty of controversy in 2009, when she flippantly declared that falafel and other "jihadi foods" should be scrapped from school lunches in the United States. "I have no proof that President Obama is forcing our children to eat Arab and Middle Eastern food. But it would certainly fit the pattern," she sputtered to the Daily Currant. That comment alone should convince Obama that falafel is king, and then there's his plea to seek peace in the Middle East, plus the fact that's he been known to skewer his political rivals, so we're pretty sure he likes his kafta kabobs. Little known fact: Two immigrants from Egypt and Morocco, who now live in Sweden, own a falafel and sausage cart named "Obamas."
In any case, tomorrow, when Obama is in Denver to debate Romney at the University of Denver, we figure he'll need to eat -- or at least feed his staff -- so we've compiled a list of the best places near the campus where we think the President should get his food fix. All of these restaurants are within swaggering distance of the campus since, as you've no doubt heard by now, driving is going to be nothing short of a shit-show.
Snarf's 1729 East Evans The staff at Snarf's know how to throw down a hell of a sandwich -- and, as an added bonus, the majority of the crew behind the counter often appears half-baked, which is something Obama can relate to. And even if the staff isn't stoned, the sandwiches are always toasted. We recommend the smoked brisket with barbecue sauce and Swiss cheese jolted with hot peppers to give him a fiery bounce on -- and off -- the stage.
Jerusalem 1890 East Evans
While that Bachmann blowhard maintains that Middle Eastern food should be banned from school cafeterias, we suspect the First Lady would highly approve of her husband indulging in a grub fest at this 24/7 DU hangout, where the kitchen crew forgoes butter and -- God forbid -- lard in favor of healthy oils. Aside from that, most dishes are grilled or baked, rather than fried (and there are numerous vegetarian options), which means that Obama can stuff his face and not hang his head in guilt. Subscribing to a Middle Eastern diet, so they say, can also improve the quality of your brain, cognition and overall mortality, and if Obama is going to get another four years, he'll need all the help he can get.
Pete's University Park Cafe 2345 East Evans Everyone knows that Obama has a weakness for pie, and at Pete's University Park Cafe, he can have his pick among several, including pecan, berry, pumpkin and coconut cream. Plus, it's the undisputed DU hangout for professors, broke-ass students and administrators, and just about everyone here has an opinion -- including the staff -- which makes it an ideal stop on the Obama trail. He can pick the brains of academics, shake lots of hands and maybe get one of those warm and fuzzy photo ops of him beaming with a sexy coed. Oh, wait, that was that other guy.
Mustard's Last Stand 2081 South University
Every college campus has a hot dog joint of note, and Mustard's is the 'hood's choice for a classic all-around American frank, which Obama can order naked, although he appears to be a man who appreciates having choices, and here, the toppings are endless, with neon green relish, brick-red chili, pickles, spicy peppers and kraut rounding out the menu. It's an iconic joint, the kind of place where everyone is super-friendly, especially to a top dog like Obama. And let's be frank: They're way better than what you'll find at Costco, Mr. President.
Anthony's Pizza & Pasta 1628 East Evans
It looks like a pizzeria, it smells like a pizzeria and the traditional New York-style thin pies are spheres of beauty, their steaming, bending crusts slicked with a sweet sauce specked with just a little oregano to give it a slight hint of bitterness. But Obama won't be remotely bitter if he treats himself -- and his staff -- to a 'za or ten. This is pizza that travels well, pizza that can be eaten in the back seat of a motorcade without dripping orange steaks of grease down your starched white shirt, pizza that will give your staff one more reason to stick around and help you fight the good fight.
Crimson & Gold Tavern 2017 South University
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Crimson & Gold Tavern, named for the colors of the University, doesn't flip the best burgers in Denver, but the Black Angus patties are juicy, judiciously salted and peppered, and the kitchen has come up with every conceivable combination -- some of them a little funky -- and since several of them include a fried egg on top, Obama may want to save a little to rub on Romney's face.