What you should order: The weirdest thing on the menu. If you're smart, you knew about this dinner interview a few days ahead and planned it out: You ate something small beforehand and looked at the menu online, so now you can order with confidence and have a good conversation piece if the topic of your prior felonies comes up and things get awkward.
Remember: If this list turns you into a neurotic mess, just ignore it and do what makes you feel comfortable. But you can't blame us if you're sobbing in the front seat of your car in the company parking lot next month.