The Five Best Foodie Christmas Gifts for 2014

The Five Best Foodie Christmas Gifts for 2014

This year's holiday season has gifts for every type of foodie, from culinary noobs to sophisticated connoisseurs -- and even a few shiny tidbits for the bougie hipsters on your Xmas lists, like Sriracha candy canes, a home bacon-making kit, a clever "spin the shot" way of getting drunk on artisan booze faster, and some precious, precious macaron trinket boxes. But there are a handful of stand-out gifts this year sure to tickle the turnips of foodie friends and family, and at least a couple of these won't set your wallet on fire.

Here's a list of the top five badass foodie Christmas gifts for 2014. Have a merry gastronomic Christmas with expensive jewels from Starbucks, cooking with condoms, blowing smoke, and the coolest unofficial Sriracha gadget ever made.

See also: Egg turds and forky dumbells: Top five dumbest foodie X-mas gifts this year

The Five Best Foodie Christmas Gifts for 2014

5. The Smoking Gun

For any home chef who likes to blow a lot of smoke, it's a lot easier with The Smoking Gun handheld food smoker. This intriguing kitchen gadget is supposed to quickly add smoke flavor to foods and drinks (think smoked pineapple slice garnishes for fancy cocktails) or make a roasted chicken taste like a smoker-cooked chicken without a smoker, or several long hours of waiting. The real beauty part of this holiday gift is that it uses small amounts of wood chips, teas, herbs or spices (or maybe shredded newspaper or barn straw if you wanna get creative) to generate the smoldering flavors and it runs on four AA batteries.

And really, when was the last time you got someone a gift this awesome that ran on batteries?

The Five Best Foodie Christmas Gifts for 2014

4. The Gold Swarovski Tumbler from Starbucks

For everyone well-heeled enough to afford the now-sold-out $200 Starbucks holiday sterling silver keychain/gift card, don't shed any ritzy tears, because you can still buy the shiny shit out of the Starbucks 2014 holiday tumbler. It holds 16 ounces of skinny vanilla latte and comes in a wooden gift box -- and that's not all! This stainless steel coffee holder is gold toned and decorated with a band of genuine Swarovski crystals, for the Buckies addict who really likes to impress themselves -- and other people.

The holiday tumbler will only set you back about $110, which is like what, five or six lattes at Starbucks?

The Five Best Foodie Christmas Gifts for 2014

3. The Condom Cookbook

You know what you can totally use condoms for this holiday season? You guessed it: cooking things in them. What better way to show your family and friends that you are super-into the giving spirit by sharing the compelling e-book Tsukutte Agetai Condomu Gohan, which translates to English as Condom Meals I Want To Make For You. This handy recipe book will guide you in to making edible, socially-aware creations such as condom cookies, condom escargot, and condom meat stuffing -- an obvious choice for your first recipe. The cookbook is geared toward presenting safer sex practices through awareness and humor; the condom curry pilaf sounds like a winner-winner, phallic dinner.

Christmas family dinner could be a whole 'nother thing with a few suspiciously oblong meat entrees. If Grandma's appetite isn't huge, tell her to just eat the tip.

For more badass foodie Xmas gifts, read on.



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