The Five Weirdest Thanksgiving Foods This Year

The Five Weirdest Thanksgiving Foods This Year

It's that time of year again: time to celebrate Thanksgiving with a gigantic feast -- and then head out to stand in line in various dark and chilly parking lots for early Black Friday barbarian raids shopping. Our dinners of thanks usually include a large hunk of roasted protein (not ham this year -- unless you wanna take out a loan to buy it), an array of starchy sides and all the pies. But just like every year, there are always the duds: entrees, sides and appetizers that have no business being on a Thanksgiving table -- or anywhere near our mouths.

Here's are the top five weirdest Thanksgiving foods this year. Be prepared for a feast of turkey ice cream, pumpkin pie-flavored chips, the infamous Hot Durkey, and beets that go where they really should not.

See also: House For All Sinners and Saints Makes Working on Thanksgiving Suck Less

Salt & Straw Ice Cream in Portland, Oregon is keeping Portland weird with turkey ice cream.
Salt & Straw Ice Cream in Portland, Oregon is keeping Portland weird with turkey ice cream.
flickr: cook it in a dishwasher, a scoop shop in Portland called Salt and Straw concocted a whole Thanksgiving meal out of ice cream flavors. Some sound a'ight, like sweet potato casserole with maple pecans and spiced chevre pumpkin pie, but the creamery went one step too far with a salted caramel Thanksgiving turkey ice cream made with turkey fat, caramel, turkey juices and caramelized onions. If that's not gag-inducing enough, bits of handmade turkey-skin brittle are mixed in for texture.

If the dream of the '90s is alive in Portland, then the nightmare of turkey grease-flavored ice cream just killed a little bit of happy dream with a slingshot.

The Five Weirdest Thanksgiving Foods This Year
Image: Oscar Mayer

4) Hot Durkey

Trailer parks of the country can unite this Thanksgiving, because the opportunistic and disenfranchised folks at Oscar Mayer have provided the perfect holiday feast for everyone who takes issue with having even the smallest amount of class. May I present: the Hot Durkey, the turkey made out of hot dogs. All this simple, step-by-step recipe takes is six ingredients: a loaf of Italian bread, some hot dogs, toothpicks, butcher's twine, ketchup and a complete lack of respect for humanity.

I will probably be making this for Thanksgiving at my house.

The Five Weirdest Thanksgiving Foods This Year

3) Mashed beetatoes

Beets are awesome. Beets are amazing. Those little red bulbs of salty dirt-flavored goodness are excellent sliced and pickled; roasted with lemon, rosemary and sprinkled with goat cheese; or even pureed into a nourishing soup with a dollop of sour cream and a bit of chive. But there if there's one place where beets are definitely not supposed to be, it's in Thanksgiving mashed potatoes. Mashing beets in with potatoes makes a salty dirt-flavored mush with an insane hot pink tint. Although trying to get more people to eat beets is fine for an ordinary meal on a Tuesday night, Thanksgiving dinner isn't an appropriate time for these kinds of hijinks.

Thanksgiving mashed potatoes are all about gobs of butter -- schlooped over with giblet gravy -- and should contain nothing that contributes to either a more refined palate or a healthy lifestyle.

For more freaky Thanksgiving dishes, read on.

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