The Ten Worst Restaurant Names in Denver

The Ten Worst Restaurant Names in Denver

Fort Collins residents are having a war of words over the new Illegal Pete's coming to town. Some have taken offense to the use of the word "illegal," but as restaurant names go, it's not the worst we've seen. Without making judgments about the quality of food or service, here are ten Denver restaurant names -- past and present -- that we wish were illegal.

See also: Pete Turner on Illegal Pete's, Community, the Fort Collins Controversy and Pete's Kitchen

The Ten Worst Restaurant Names in Denver

10) Amass

While this new French restaurant in the up-and-coming Jefferson Park neighborhood may have intended its name to evoke gathering or coming together, the word "amass" comes across as "a mass." Rather than thinking of elegant dining in a hip setting with close friends, the name has a more biological connotation. Reader Eyeroll said it best in a comment on our announcement of the eatery's opening:

That is an atrocious restaurant name. I visualize pounds of half-digested chicken amassing (and subsequently compacting) in my colon.

The Ten Worst Restaurant Names in Denver

9) The Hole

The Hole was an ill-fated doughnut shop and bar that may have just been ahead of its time on a stretch of Tennyson Street in the Berkeley neighborhood that's now red hot when it comes to restaurant openings. But we think its lack of popularity was probably due to the name, which conjured images of dark, creepy places more than the empty space in the middle of a doughnut. Also right up there in terms of orifice-based restaurant monikers is the South Broadway pizza joint Pie Hole.

The Ten Worst Restaurant Names in Denver

8) The Crawling Crab

Yes, this tasty homage to Gulf Coast seafood and the pleasures of bib-and-fingers dining serves crab, and lots of it, in a variety of sauces. But if the crab on the table starts crawling, it's time to ask for the check. And even if the idea of seeing your food alive first isn't troubling, nobody wants to visualize anything crawling with crabs right before dinner.

The Ten Worst Restaurant Names in Denver

7) Bubu

We love the fresh and flavor-packed bowls at Troy Guard's fast-casual subterranean eatery, and we even love the Asian puffed rice snacks called bubu arare that give the place its name and lend crunch to the healthy dishes that feature Hawaiian, Thai, Southwestern and Japanese flavors. But for most of us in the landlocked state of Colorado, bubu isn't a snack food, it's just an alternate spelling for Boo-boo Bear (Yogi's angst-ridden sidekick), or, even worse, frightening reality TV starlet Honey Boo Boo.

Keep reading for more of our least favorite restaurant names.

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