The top five dumbest restaurant promotions

This will go well.
This will go well.

TGI Fridays may have ditched its servers' flair, but it hasn't completely abandoned a flair for really dumbass promotions. The chain recently announced its "Endless Appetizers" summer promo offering all-you-can-eat appetizers for $10 per person. Diners choose one appetizer and get unlimited refills; Fridays chief marketing officer says that sharing is discouraged but won't be enforced. Jesus-potato-skinning-Christ, what could possibly go wrong with this?

While TGI Fridays loses covered wagons full of hard cash, here's a list of the top five dumbest restaurant promotions. This list might make TGIFs feel a little better, but probably not.

See also: Kentucky Fried Chicken's new original-recipe cookies -- a half-baked or extra crispy idea?

Horrible, awful, very bad timing indeed.
Horrible, awful, very bad timing indeed.

5) McDonald's McSensitivityFail burger

In the summer of 2002, McDonald's launched a new "McAfrika" burger (a beef, cheese, tomato and salady-stuff pita sandwich supposedly based upon an authentic African recipe) in economically sound Norway, while at the time 12 million people in southern Africa were facing famine-related starvation. The phrases "crass" and "ill-considered" were used to described the badly-timed promotion, but the phrases "classist dickery " and "all the WTFs" would have been just as appropriate. McDonald's released a PR statement claiming "we acknowledge that we have chosen an unfortunate time to launch this new product," while simultaneously kicking off a half-assed attempt at allowing donation boxes to be placed in some of the restaurants.

If corporations are people, then this promo disaster makes Golden Archie not only a spectacular asshole, but also the guy who was born with big balls but missing a soul.

Dunno what was worse--the food, or the bad hairstyles back then.
Dunno what was worse--the food, or the bad hairstyles back then.

4) Wendy's Superbar was super-dumb

One of the most epic examples of the low-brow American excess of the 1980s and early 90s was Wendy's "Superbar." You could stroll in to selected locations and -- for around four bucks -- get your fill of a three-part buffet consisting of "Pasta Pasta" (shitty Italian food), "Mexican Fiesta" (shittier Mexican food), and the mostly-ignored "Garden Spot" salads and cut-up fruit. I can personally recall the dining area in my local Wendy's being perma-trashed, the teenage employees looking beyond forlorn, and the joint crawling with tables of folks who paid for one person while consuming enough to fill a fleet of dump trucks. Wendy's discontinued the Superbar in 1998, thus destroying the hopes of all kids who had yet to slurp more than their weight in Frosties.

It's almost hard to believe that this sort of cheapo gladiator-gut-cramming didn't become a permanent thing for Wendy's, but Golden Corral seems to be doing just fine with it.

Online coupons have come a long way....or not.
Online coupons have come a long way....or not.

3) KFC's "You'll Get Nothing and Like It!" coupons

If the restaurant formerly known as Kentucky Fried Chicken has learned anything about its promotional practices, it's that offering free food on the Oprah Winfrey show is the opposite of smart. In 2009, it was announced on Oprah's too-popular TV show that viewers could download a free coupon for a 2-piece chicken meal with two individual sides and a biscuit. Indeed, the downloading happened, to the tune of 10.5 million coupons, and when around 4 million coupon-wielding chicken enthusiasts showed up at the stores demanding their due, some KFCs didn't have the staff -- or the chicken -- to honor the deals. The coupon was pulled and a do-over was implemented, but at the end of the debacle KFC gave away 42 million dollars' worth of freebies without the coveted good press to go with it.

KFC seems to have developed an original recipe for enraging Americans with a massive fried chicken tease, but with the rise of Groupon, this sort of gimme-gimme-grab isn't all that uncommon anymore.

Keep reading for more really bad ideas...



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