Top five kitschy kitchen items from the Goodwill Thrift Store

Top five kitschy kitchen items from the Goodwill Thrift Store

It was a dark and chilly night, and I was completely bored out of my gourd. Fortunately, a new Goodwill Thrift Store had recently opened in my neighborhood, and shopping seemed a perfect diversion.

So this little piggy went to market, and found a store packed with stuff. Some items looked like they'd been through the wringer, others screamed to find a home. Five things in the kitchen section really caught my eye: Guess what my peeps are getting for Christmas?

Top five kitschy kitchen items from the Goodwill Thrift Store

Maxine is a grumpy bitch who complains about everything. At least this serving platter will distract your guests from how much the food blows.

Top five kitschy kitchen items from the Goodwill Thrift Store

Can't afford a souvenir from Paris? This lovely item came from the Paris Hotel and Casino in Lost Wages. Jackpot!

Top five kitschy kitchen items from the Goodwill Thrift Store

I can't wait to see this pig's snout spewing gravy.

Top five kitschy kitchen items from the Goodwill Thrift Store

No one's going to steal a spoonful from this open-wide container, 'cause the lion's got your back. "Thundercats Ho!"

Top five kitschy kitchen items from the Goodwill Thrift Store

We all love those smarmy M&M guys, with their soft interiors and hard shells. But this golden orb seems better suited to an S&M parlor.

The recipients of my shopping largesse should be relieved that Christmas is like my love life: It only comes once a year.

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