As the year draws to a close, I look back fondly at the breast, er, best restaurant that I had the pleasure of visiting in 2011.
Twin Peaks opened last month just outside of Colorado Mills, and it's a worthy adversary to Denver's already established breastaurants, Hooters and Tilted Kilt. All three emphasize the largesse of a woman's up-front features, but Twin Peaks towers above the other two.
As you walk through the entrance, you're welcomed by the smiling face of a hostess smartly dressed in very short khaki shorts and a lumberjack shirt that's been stripped down to the bare essentials. But you're not there just for a fashion show; you're there for the full festivities.
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SHOW ME HOW
I got walked to the bar -- which is huge -- and was greeted right away by a lovely lumber-lass who explained to me that they have two sizes of draft: girl and MAN. Of course, my choice was the big one -- gotta make up for a deficiency somehow. The beer was so cold, it actually had ice crystals, which is the chain's other main claim to fame. It's served at a numbing 29 degrees, a fact prominently displayed on a big LED sign behind the bar. This beer was probably the best I'd had all year because it was also the coldest, and it hit my belly faster than Santa with jelly.
The sight of the servers hit a little lower. I kept my hands on my glass and my eyes above see level, and tried desperately not to Peak.