17 Denver women you've probably dated

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Noah Van Sciver

Ravericious Delectus
Also known as: The EDM Addict

To be an example of the Ravericious Delectus domain, a subject must not just be a fan of the EDM lifestyle, but hooked on it to such a degree that she can't walk, talk, eat, have sex or breathe without 140 beats per minute of dance music thump-thump-thumping in the background. MDMA are her favorite initials, and she thinks any party or fest that doesn't end with her stumbling into the breaking dawn with her mascara giving her raccoon eyes and her hair matted to her head as if it had been spackled with papier-mache flat-out sucks. Which would be fine every once in a while, but she can't stop or even slow down long enough to have anything resembling a coherent conversation. Average length of a date: 72 hours.

It's a dating jungle out there, and in order to survive, you need to know how to identify the animals -- especially the ones likely to tear you to shreds. With that in mind, Westword consulted with dating experts to zero in on the ten people who've contributed to the longest, most awkward nights of your life -- plus seven more suggested by an astute reader.

For more, check out our list of ten Denver men you've probably dated.

Published on February 13, 2014

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