8 Simple Rules for Surviving a DNC Party

1. Fly solo. Plus-ones are for pussies. You will briefly feel scared and alone, and wonder why you didn't stay home to watch Mad Man On Demand. But simply lean really nonchalantly on the bar near the entrance, and tell yourself repeatedly forcefully -- that everyone else assumes you're waiting there for your plus-one. Soon, after six or seven beers, you will completely forget that you're alone, and you'll never have to hold anyone's beer while they pee.