8 Simple Rules for Surviving a DNC Party

August 26, 2008 10:14AM

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1. Fly solo. Plus-ones are for pussies. You will briefly feel scared and alone, and wonder why you didn't stay home to watch Mad Man On Demand. But simply lean really nonchalantly on the bar near the entrance, and tell yourself repeatedly forcefully -- that everyone else assumes you're waiting there for your plus-one. Soon, after six or seven beers, you will completely forget that you're alone, and you'll never have to hold anyone's beer while they pee.

To help you navigate the DNC party scene, we hit Headcount.org's kick-ass party at the Ogden Theatre, which featured a performance by Robert Randolph and plenty of chicken wings. And we put together these easy-to-follow rules for surviving a DNC party. Follow them closely, and you just might not get kicked out. Or maybe you will. It really depends on the bouncer.

8 Simple Rules for Surviving a DNC Party

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