If shopping for holiday gifts has left your wallet looking a little thin, don't worry. We've compiled a list of things to do for less then a Hamilton this weekend so you don't have to sit inside and lament buying your sweetheart that ridiculously priced present. Bid farewell to the MCA pigeons, enjoy some burlesque performed by studly dudes, and more for all under $10. As usual, check out our full calendar listings here: westword.com/calendar. Communist Pigeon Party at the MCA Denver (Friday, $5) If you've been thinking about seeing Thinking About Flying, Jon Rubin's project with homing pigeons trained to fly back to the MCA, this farewell party will be your last chance to hang with the birds before they fly away. Have a drink, browse the museum, and ponder why the MCA always does weird shit with animals. Sex Panther at Beauty Bar (Friday, free) DJs Max Klaw, Jah Rocker, and J-Grilla throw this dance party every month that's always good for getting hands in the air and feet on the dance floor. The slick, vintage decor at Beauty Bar will be a perfect place to jam to the mix of 4X4 Bass, Dubstep, Moombahton, and UK Funk music.
Neptune's Paradox: What's Hot for the Cold at Neptune Mountaineering (Saturday, free) Drink free beer and watch models strut the catwalk dressed in mountaineering gear at Neptune's Paradox, this benefit to help Paradox Sports fund outdoor sports programs for the disabled. Buy tickets for the raffle, view tons of gear on display, and drink the--did we mention?--free beer.
Candy Cane Festival at Hammond's Candies (Saturday, free) You don't need a golden ticket to get into the Hammond's candy factory today. In fact, it's free. The local sweet purveyors are going all out with arts and crafts, trolley rides, face painting, and of course, lots of sweets. Just don't fall into a vat of chocolate.
Whipped at Eden (Saturday, $5-10) Queer collective La Galla will present its newest performance piece tonight: Whipped. We're never sure exactly what to expect from this group, but the performance will be nothing if not exciting and sexy. The doors are sliding scale, and they're also promising free sex toy giveaways, so be sure to look out for your chance to score some erotic goodies.
Bands & Writers at the Skylark Lounge (Saturday-Sunday, $5) Charly "The City Mouse" Fasano has been performing his spoken word all over Denver for years, and will again tonight with this event that combines spoken word with music. Along with The City Mouse, you can enjoy poetry from Kenneth Arkind as well as music by Land Lines, Sweet Tooth Meat Tooth, and more. Handmade Homemade Holiday Market at Green Spaces (Saturday, $2-5) 'Tis the season for shopping at craft fairs, and this weekend has a few to offer the shopper who wants to buy local, crafty goods. From prepared food to vegan soaps, the unique market will be full of one-of-a-kind stocking stuffers. Tinsel at the Grant-Humphreys Mansion (Sunday, free) For those more interested in the fashion side of holiday shopping, Fashion Denver's market is always the place to go. With fashion shows throughout the day and an impeccably curated collection of local designers, Tinsel is sure to keep you stylish and well-supplied with wearable items.
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Poetry Slam at the Mercury Cafe (Sunday, $5) Every week the Mercury Cafe holds this signature slam, and every week it's an excellent chance to see some insightful, moving slam poetry as well as some embarrassing stuff. Either way, it's entertaining and you'll probably be moved to tears and laughter--sometimes intentional, sometimes not.
Cora Vette's Hot Rods at The Compound (Sunday, $10) What better way to end your weekend by watching a bunch of semi-naked dudes dance? Burlesque darling Cora Vette has put together a crew of shirtless studs to perform saucy dance numbers for your delight.