A guy trying to look cool on a Segway stars in your moment of schadenfreude

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When Dean Kamen debuted the Segway in 2002, he predicted the two-wheeled electric vehicle would be the future of transportation -- and indeed, the Segway, capable of speeds of up to 12.5 miles per hour and boasting serious maneuverability and ultra-low fuel consumption, is practical. There was just one miscalculation: They make everyone who rides them look like a dingleberry. There is no way to look cool on a Segway. If you try to do tricks, you just look stupider. And if you fail at those tricks -- then, my friend, you also fail at life.

Hey, sweet back and forth move there, bro. That's like that time we were hanging out in the parking lot of Circle K and there was that guy in the Trans Am and then he totally peeled out.

Interestingly, Jimi Heselden, the billionaire philanthropist who acquired Segway this year, recently died when he drove his Segway off a cliff -- which, we're just saying, has got to be up there on the list of hilarious ways to die. At any rate, that circumstance and this video just go to show you that, as harmlessly gooberish as those things look, they can be at least as dangerous as trying to do a sweet jump over a dumpster.

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


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